Some jokes in english

[sanjiva]

kira2 begini ilustrasinya:



kalo dia ga senyum, pipinya ga melebar.. sehingga kacamatanya melorot..

Karena hidungnya manclem atau karena muka yang kecil tapi memaksakan pakai kacamuka ya? 

[M14ka]

When we got our long-distance phone bill, we found that our daughter, Cathy, had been making 60-minutes calls to a boyfriend away at college.
"From now on," her father said firmly, "your calls are limited to five minutes."
"Dad, what can I say in five-minutes?" Cathy wailed.
"Call me back," he answered.

[M14ka]

First man: "I haven't been able to sleep for weeks. If I don't come up with $17.000 by tomorrow I'll be bankrupt. "
Second man: "Why didn't you come to me? We are friends, aren't we?
First man: "Does that mean you'll lend me the money?"
Second man: "No, but I've got some great sleeping pills."

[M14ka]

A train was just pulling out of the station, when a couple rushed onto the platform where I was waiting for my own train.
All out of breath, they sat down beside me and started berating each other.
"If you hadn't dawdled so with your shopping," said the man, "we'd have made the train."
"And if you hadn't run so fast," retorted the woman, "we wouldn't have to wait so long for the next one."

[Shasika]

while traveling on a plane, I met a reporter.
Reporter (R) : Hello, so glad to meet U
Me (M) : Thank U, me too.
R : aha...U are an Indonesian...!
M : how come U can recognised me as an Indonesian?
R : Sure, I can recognised U as an Indonesian because of U wrapped your documents with plastic bag ! Only Indonesian had such habbits.

[sanjiva]

while traveling on a plane, I met a reporter.
Reporter (R) : Hello, so glad to meet U
Me (M) : Thank U, me too.
R : aha...U are an Indonesian...!
M : how come U can recognised me as an Indonesian?
R : Sure, I can recognised U as an Indonesian because of U wrapped your documents with plastic bag ! Only Indonesian had such habbits.

Maksudnya dilaminating? 

[Shasika]

Maksudnya dilaminating? 

hahaha....bukan bro Sanjiva, tapi didalam tas yang saya caklong, semua ijasah sy (tentu sudah dlm bentuk laminating) itu saya kreseki...
puiihhh....maluuuu....bangettt.....

[sanjiva]

hahaha....bukan bro Sanjiva, tapi didalam tas yang saya caklong, semua ijasah sy (tentu sudah dlm bentuk laminating) itu saya kreseki...
puiihhh....maluuuu....bangettt.....

So, this is real story then. 

[Shasika]

So, this is real story then. 

Sure bro...real story but I think it is so funny also, we are Indonesian so famous whom wrapped using plastic bag for documents.....

[Shasika]

**still the story of Indonesian with the plastic habit

At the page of Facebook, many western girls drink juice of fruit using plastic pack.
Me (M) : hahaha...this picture taken in Indonesia.
Lopez (L) : how come you can guess it is taken in Indonesia.
M : Why not? I can guess it correctly because of all of you using plastic pack to drink this kind of juice.
L : Yes, you are correct, but how come you can guess it correctly ?
M : Sure I can, because of I'm Indonesian, only at Indonesia whom had that habbit, the street's traders in Indonesia only using plastic pack to wrap the beverages.

[M14ka]

To offset the depression I felt at reaching my 30th birthday, I treated myself to a new hairdo and a new outfit. Walking down the street, I was flattered when two young men waved at me, saying something in Spanish. Acting the proper lady, I ignored them, tossing my head haughtily as I marched resolutely onward. A third man tried to speak to me as I strode past his car. He finally leaned his head out of window and yelled, "Ma'am, they're trying to tell you -- you're walking in their wet cement."

[will_i_am]

Sure bro...real story but I think it is so funny also, we are Indonesian so famous whom wrapped using plastic bag for documents.....

if wrapping documents using plastic is funny, then what about Korean using plastic on their face?? 

[sanjiva]

if wrapping documents using plastic is funny, then what about Korean using plastic on their face?? 

It's pretty then 

[M14ka]

When the famous movie star sat down in a hotel lobby, an obnoxious man started heckling him. The actor ignored the insults, but the two female fans were unable to. They not only gave the loudmouth a tongue-lashing, but actually started to hit him until he  fled the scene.
The star thanked the women for their support and asked one, "Did you actually slap that man with this dainty little hand?"
"Yes,"she answered. And the actor gallantly kissed her hand.
He then turned to the other woman, who quickly stated, "I bit him."

[Shasika]

Actually this is true story.

In the Alms-giving, the devotees put in the plates of monks one by one, all of them neatly queued.
Most of monks make sign "shaking head" and the meal put on the plate then.
Indonesian monk who does same thing with them but he didn't get that meal.
But this monk only keep quite because of very shamed at that time.
After come to the Vihara then he asked to another monk,
"why he didn't get the meal, even he makes that "shaking head" same with them ?
The monk replied him : What's your nationality ?