After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo,(and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on he curb.
"Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver," Would you please take your seat so we can leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"Who's going to tell? Besides, there might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope with a smile.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph. (Remember, he's a German Pope.)
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license -- and my job!" moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop with a bit of persistence.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Chief: " The Governor?"
Chief: "The President?"
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "What makes you
think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur."
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his
dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.
Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort
in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile,
they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the
engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer,
"So, how's it going down there in hell?"
Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning
and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this
engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake
-- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."
Satan says, "No way."
I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."
Satan laughs uproariously and answers,
"Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"