spiritual bypass?

[rooney]

Sebagian meditator memiliki pola pikir tentang "bagaimana seorang meditator itu seharusnya".

Maksudnya, seseorang mungkin berpikir bahwa seorang meditator seharusnya adalah sosok yang tenang, selalu positif, tidak mudah marah, dll. Lalu karena ia menganggap bahwa ia juga meditator, maka ia berusaha menjadi demikian juga. Dia mengingkari hal-hal negatif yang sebenarnya ada, atau menekan hal-hal negatif itu dengan cara yang salah.

Intinya, karena adanya sindrom "Meditator Wanna Be", ia mengingkari atau tidak mau melihat bagian dari dirinya yang tidak sempurna.

Kalo meditatornya ternyata arahat gimana ? 

[bluppy]

Oh begitu toh. Penjelasan nya sederhana dan mengena. Terima kasih.

[dhammadinna]

Kalo meditatornya ternyata arahat gimana ? 

Kita tidak perlu menerka-nerka apakah ketenangan seseorang adalah sekadar pencitraan, karena ketidaktahuan, pandangan salah, atau karena ia (misalnya) adalah seorang Arahat. Biarkan saja dia begitu.
____________________

Btw, tadi saya kepikiran sesuatu tentang tricky mind. Sindrom Meditator Wanna Be, ditandai dengan oleh adanya 'keinginan menjadi'.

Tapi ketidak-inginan menjadi Meditator Wanna Be, adalah keinginan menjadi Non-Meditator Wanna Be. Intinya masih ada 'keinginan menjadi'.

Benar-benar tricky mind. Tentang ini, kalau ribet, gak perlu terlalu dipikirkan yak..

[tesla]

iya, tapi saya belum ngerti
hubungannya "let it go" dengan "spiritual bypass" ?

yg bro jelasin sebelumnya kan sebenarnya mirip dg "let it go"

ha, teknik apaan?

kalo dari pengertian saya yg masih tebak2 an,
spiritual bypass itu seperti
ketika menghadapi suatu masalah
seseorang menghindarinya dengan meditasi
mencari ketenangan dan kedamaian dalam meditasi
tapi tidak berusaha menyelesaikan masalah itu

dan menyukai pengalaman yg menyenangkan
pengalaman kedamaian, ketentraman, konsentrasi
tapi melewatkan (bypass) kemarahan, negativitas

kalau bahasa buddhist nya:
ketika mendapati masalah duniawi, seorang yogi menyadari, bahwa segalanya adalah tidak kekal, dan tidak ada gunanya ia melekati hal2 yg membuatnya nyaman maupun tidak nyaman. jadi dia melewati saja tanpa menyelesaikan masalah tsb dalam versi duniawi (sebenarnya di mental nya sendiri masalah tsb bukan masalah lagi)

mis:
saya marah ketika saya mendapati seseorang telah mencuri dari saya.
kemudian saya sadar, bahwa itu semua (yg dicuri) memanglah tidak kekal,
langsung saja saya menjadi tidak melekati yg telah dicuri dan jadi tidak menderita (marah) karena dicuri
in the end, saya tetap tidak mendapatkan kembali yg telah tercuri tsb.

[bluppy]

kalau bahasa buddhist nya:
ketika mendapati masalah duniawi, seorang yogi menyadari, bahwa segalanya adalah tidak kekal, dan tidak ada gunanya ia melekati hal2 yg membuatnya nyaman maupun tidak nyaman. jadi dia melewati saja tanpa menyelesaikan masalah tsb dalam versi duniawi (sebenarnya di mental nya sendiri masalah tsb bukan masalah lagi)

mis:
saya marah ketika saya mendapati seseorang telah mencuri dari saya.
kemudian saya sadar, bahwa itu semua (yg dicuri) memanglah tidak kekal,
langsung saja saya menjadi tidak melekati yg telah dicuri dan jadi tidak menderita (marah) karena dicuri
in the end, saya tetap tidak mendapatkan kembali yg telah tercuri tsb.

ini dari segi positif nya yag
ini memang contoh yang bagus dari "let it go"
tapi kok rasanya ini bukan yg di maksud dengan spiritual bypass ?
lebih merasa setuju dengan penjelasan sis dhammadinna sih

Sebagian meditator memiliki pola pikir tentang "bagaimana seorang meditator itu seharusnya".

Maksudnya, seseorang mungkin berpikir bahwa seorang meditator seharusnya adalah sosok yang tenang, selalu positif, tidak mudah marah, dll. Lalu karena ia menganggap bahwa ia juga meditator, maka ia berusaha menjadi demikian juga. Dia mengingkari hal-hal negatif yang sebenarnya ada, atau menekan hal-hal negatif itu dengan cara yang salah.

Intinya, karena adanya sindrom "Meditator Wanna Be", ia mengingkari atau tidak mau melihat bagian dari dirinya yang tidak sempurna.

[bluppy]

[spoiler]
Spiritual bypassing, a term first coined by psychologist John Welwood in 1984, is the use of spiritual practices and beliefs to avoid dealing with our painful feelings, unresolved wounds, and developmental needs. It is much more common than we might think and, in fact, is so pervasive as to go largely unnoticed, except in its more obvious extremes.

I have worked with many clients who described themselves as being on a spiritual path, particularly as meditators. Most were preoccupied, at least initially, with being nice, trying to be positive and nonjudgmental, while impaling themselves on various spiritual "shoulds," such as "I should not show anger" or "I should be more loving" or "I should be more open after all the time I've put into my spiritual practice." Fleeing their darker (or "less spiritual") emotions, impulses, and intentions, they had, to varying degrees, trapped themselves within the very practices and beliefs that they had hoped might liberate them, or at least make them feel better.

Spiritual bypassing is a very persistent shadow of spirituality, manifesting in many forms, often without being acknowledged as such. Aspects of spiritual bypassing include :
exaggerated detachment,
emotional numbing and repression,
overemphasis on the positive,
anger-phobia,
blind or overly tolerant compassion,
weak or too porous boundaries,
lopsided development (cognitive intelligence often being far ahead of emotional and moral intelligence),
debilitating judgment about one's negativity or shadow side,
devaluation of the personal relative to the spiritual,
and delusions of having arrived at a higher level of being.

bagian dari article
Copyright © 2010 by Robert Masters. Reprinted by permission of publisher. http://www.realitysandwich.com/spiritual_bypassing[/spoiler]

berusaha pake google translate
terjemahannya agak2 kacau, mohon maklum

Spiritual bypass, sebuah istilah yang pertama kali dicetuskan oleh psikolog John Welwood pada tahun 1984, adalah penggunaan praktik-praktik spiritual dan keyakinan untuk menghindari berurusan dengan perasaan-perasaan pedih, luka yang belum terselesaikan, dan kebutuhan perkembangan. Hal ini jauh lebih umum daripada yang kita pikir, dan, pada kenyataannya, sebagian besar tidak terdeteksi, kecuali untuk contoh yang ekstrem dan jelas terlihat.

Saya telah bekerja dengan banyak klien yang menggambarkan diri mereka berada di jalan spiritual, terutama sebagai meditator. Sebagian besar berusaha keras untuk bersikap baik, berusaha menjadi positif dan tidak menghakimi. Tetapi  di lain pihak, memaksakan dirinya untuk "harus ini harus itu" , seperti "Saya harus tidak menunjukkan kemarahan" atau "Aku harus lebih mencintai" atau "Saya harus menjadi lebih terbuka setelah begitu banyak waktu yang saya gunakan untuk kegiatan spiritual. " Lari dari sisi gelap mereka (atau " yang kurang spiritual") seperti emosi, impuls, dan niat keinginan.  Mereka dalam berbagai kadar, terjebak sendiri dalam praktik dan keyakinan yang mereka harapkan akan membebaskan mereka, atau setidaknya membuat mereka merasa lebih baik.

spiritual bypassing adalah bayang-bayang dalam spiritualitas, datang dalam berbagai bentuk, seringkali tidak disadari. Aspek spiritual bypass meliputi:
tak-melekat yang berlebihan,
menekan emosi,
mementingkan positif secara berlebihan,
kemarahan-fobia (alergi/takut untuk marah),
belas kasih yang berlebihan atau buta,
Batas2 yang lemah,
pengembangan diri yg tak seimbang (kecerdasan kognitif IQ seringkali jauh di atas kecerdasan emosional EQ dan moral),
menghakimi sisi negative atau gelap dari dirinya,
devaluasi relatif pribadi untuk spiritual (ngk ngerti nig?),
dan delusi merasa dirinya telah mencapai tingkat spiritual yang lebih tinggi dari yang sebenarnya.

bagian dari article
Copyright © 2010 by Robert Masters. Reprinted by permission of publisher. http://www.realitysandwich.com/spiritual_bypassing

[bluppy]

[spoiler]Spiritual Addiction
by Adyashanti

A spiritual person can become addicted to spiritual highs and miss the experience of Truth. Spiritual addiction occurs when something great happens and it feels as if you have received a hit of a great drug. As soon as you have it, you want more. There is no drug more potent than spiritual experience. The intellectual component of this addiction is the belief that if you just had enough of these experiences, you would feel great all the time. It's like morphine. You get a hit of it in the hospital because you break your arm, and you think, "If I had a little drip going all the time, life would be relatively pleasant no matter what happens." Spiritual experiences often become like this, and the mind puts them into its familiar pattern, thinking, "If I had this experience all the time, that would be freedom."

Soon you find that your condition is not much better than that of a common drunk, except that drunks know they have a problem because it's not culturally acceptable to be a drunk. The spiritual person is very certain that there is no problem, that his or her inebriation is unlike the other forms of inebriation, and the whole point is to be spiritually inebriated forever. That's the mindset of an addict: "I got it and I lost it. I need it. I don't have it."

In our culture, with most kinds of addiction, the addict is understood to be miserable. But not in the spiritual world. The seeker is told that spiritual addiction is different from all the other addictions. You're not a junkie. You're a spiritual seeker.
This problem will last as long as there is something in you that holds out some hope for the high experience. When that begins to break down, you start to see that pleasant, wonderful, and uplifting experiences are somewhat like very pleasant and uplifting alcohol binges. They feel great for a short time, and then there is an equal and opposite reaction. The spiritual high is followed by a spiritual low. I have seen this in many students.

Once these high and low experiences have played themselves out for a long enough period of time, it starts to dawn on you that maybe the high spiritual experience is just a pendulum swing followed by a low experience. At some point, you may have an ordinary moment and get on to the fact that these pendulum swings are equal and opposite reactions. You realize it's impossible to sustain one part of the pendulum swing because its nature is to move back and forth. There's no way you are going to pin that pendulum to any one point.  [/spoiler]

Kecanduan spiritual
by Adyashanti

Seseorang yang spiritual dapat menjadi kecanduan pada saat-saat spiritual yang tinggi/ menyenangkan dan tidak menyadari pengalaman akan Kebenaran. Kecanduan spiritual terjadi ketika sesuatu yang luar biasa terjadi, dan rasanya seolah-olah Anda telah menerima suntikan obat yang luar biasa. Segera setelah Anda memilikinya, Anda ingin lebih. Tidak ada obat yang lebih kuat daripada pengalaman spiritual. Komponen intelektual dari kecanduan ini adalah keyakinan bahwa jika Anda hanya memiliki cukup pengalaman ini, Anda akan merasa hebat sepanjang waktu. Ini seperti morfin. Anda mendapatkan suntikan di rumah sakit karena Anda mematahkan lengan Anda, dan Anda berpikir, "Jika aku punya sedikit obat ini sepanjang waktu, kehidupan akan relatif menyenangkan apa pun yang terjadi." Pengalaman spiritual sering menjadi seperti ini, dan pikiran menempatkan mereka ke dalam pola lazim, berpikir, "Jika aku punya pengalaman ini sepanjang waktu, itu adalah pembebasan."

Segera Anda menemukan bahwa kondisi anda tidak jauh lebih baik daripada seorang pemabuk, kecuali bahwa pemabuk tahu bahwa mereka memiliki masalah karena secara kultural tidak diterima untuk menjadi pemabuk. Orang yang spiritual sangat yakin bahwa tidak ada masalah, keadaan mabuk nya tidak seperti bentuk kemabukan yang lain, dan tujuannya adalah untuk menjadi mabuk secara spiritual untuk selamanya. Itulah pola pikir seorang pecandu: "Aku mendapatkannya dan aku kehilangan itu. Aku membutuhkannya. Aku tidak memilikinya. "

Dalam budaya kita, dengan sebagian besar jenis kecanduan, pecandu dipahami untuk menjadi sengsara. Tapi tidak di dunia spiritual. Orang itu diberitahu bahwa kecanduan spiritual adalah berbeda dari semua kecanduan lainnya. Kau bukan pecandu. Anda seorang pencari spiritual.
Masalah ini akan terus berlangsung selama dirimu masih berharap untuk mendapatkan pengalaman tinggi/luar biasa. Ketika itu mulai berlalu, Anda mulai melihat bahwa pengalaman menyenangkan, indah, dan membangkitkan semangat itu, seperti saat mabuk alkohol yang sangat menyenangkan dan menggembirakan. Mereka merasa luar biasa untuk waktu yang singkat, dan kemudian ada reaksi yang sama kuatnya dan bertolak belakang. Keadaan spiritual tinggi/menyenangkan diikuti oleh keadaan spiritual rendah/ tidak menyenangkan. Saya telah melihat ini di banyak siswa.

Setelah pengalaman tinggi dan rendah telah berlangsung untuk jangka waktu yang cukup lama, anda mungkin mulai sadar bahwa pengalaman spiritual yang tinggi hanyalah ayunan bandul diikuti dengan pengalaman spiritual rendah. Pada titik tertentu, Anda mungkin memiliki saat2 "biasa" dan menyadari bahwa ayunan bandul adalah reaksi yang sama kekuatannya dan berlawanan arahnya. Anda menyadari tidak mungkin untuk mempertahankan satu bagian dari ayunan bandul karena sifatnya adalah untuk bergerak maju mundur. Tidak mungkin Anda akan bisa menahan bandul itu di satu titik.

[rooney]

Kita tidak perlu menerka-nerka apakah ketenangan seseorang adalah sekadar pencitraan, karena ketidaktahuan, pandangan salah, atau karena ia (misalnya) adalah seorang Arahat. Biarkan saja dia begitu.
____________________

Btw, tadi saya kepikiran sesuatu tentang tricky mind. Sindrom Meditator Wanna Be, ditandai dengan oleh adanya 'keinginan menjadi'.

Tapi ketidak-inginan menjadi Meditator Wanna Be, adalah keinginan menjadi Non-Meditator Wanna Be. Intinya masih ada 'keinginan menjadi'.

Benar-benar tricky mind. Tentang ini, kalau ribet, gak perlu terlalu dipikirkan yak..

Jadi bagusnya gimana dong ?

[bluppy]

Jadi bagusnya gimana dong ?

Tentang ini, kalau ribet, gak perlu terlalu dipikirkan yak..

[bluppy]

tambahan dari spiritual addiction
http://www.psychicbutsane.com/positive-thinking-and-healing/how-to-avoid-spiritual-addiction-stay-grounded-on-your-spiritual-path
 

How to Avoid Spiritual Addiction & Stay Grounded on Your Spiritual Path

[spoiler]A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article entitled – Are you out of balance with your spirituality?
In that article, I listed some symptoms of being out of balance with spirituality.
What does it even mean to be out of balance with spirituality?

If you're out of balance with spirituality, it means that you are giving the spiritual side of existence too much importance in your life.  You may spend all your time focusing on activities such as meditation, psychic development, and being immersed in that which is supernatural or otherworldly.

You may be so introverted and lost inside yourself that you find it difficult to relate to the rest of the world (when it's not about personal or spiritual development).  And you may take your spirituality so seriously that you have forgotten to have fun in life too. If you are imbalanced in your spirituality, you will also find that you have neglected other, more earthy areas of your life such as making money and your social life.

If you relate to this description, then I advise that you read that article about spiritual imbalance before you continue reading this article about how to overcome it.
The types of people who are commonly out of balance with spirituality include:

1. Psychics; healers; other people who work in personal development (with a spiritual slant).  It is easy to get out of balance with spirituality when you work in the spirit realm all day.
2. People who have gone through some sort of trauma in life and who are on a path of healing.   These people may be addicted to healing experiences, spiritual growth and the highs that you get from connecting to spirit.  These people will be spending so much time detoxing and healing, spiritually and emotionally, that they forget to live too.
3. People who dislike/hate something about their outside reality, but lack the motivation or courage to change it and find it easier to escape through the spiritual realm.
This article is written for those people who are seriously out of balance with spirituality, like the above groups.

Steps to lose an addiction to spirituality (without losing your spirituality)

If you recognize that you are out of balance, here are some lifestyle changes to help bring more balance back into your life.  I'm sure you've heard recommendations to ground yourself such as 'walk on the grass in bare feet' etc.  Those suggestions are good for people with a temporary imbalance but they are not good for people who are totally out of balance – such people will need to take bigger steps to redress the imbalance.

Note that one of the most effective ways to overcome a spiritual addiction is to get a healing session (such as a cord-cutting) and at the beginning of the session, set the intention to bring about more balance between your lower and upper chakras. Cutting a cord to someone who has caused you trauma or pain can make it easier for you to come back into your body.

Apart from that, here are some lifestyle suggestions to help bring more balance into your life:

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #1: You feel lightheaded and spacey in your body.

Suggestion: Check in with your eating habits.
Your eating habits can either help tether you to the earth plane or they can destabilize and unground you.

Both veganism and raw veganism I find to be ungrounding for me, personally. Often people ask during spirit guide coaching if a raw or high raw vegan diet is right for them at this time and the answer is usually something along the lines of 'no, not unless you are willing to suffer some imbalance.' Being on that kind of diet as a psychic or very spiritual person requires a very strong foundation and a good connection to reality. If you don't have that, it will unbalance you.

I bring this issue up because many people do become drawn to a really pure and light diet when they begin to get interested in spirituality or psychic development.  When you open your upper chakras, you might be drawn to giving up meat (the meat-eating students on my spirit guides coaching course often tell me that they notice an aversion to meat as the weeks go by).

Then as people become even more sensitive, they may be drawn to giving up fish.  Then some people take it one step further and give up animal products.  Some then feel drawn to giving up cooked food and become raw vegans.  This is a natural (but rather extreme) progression and one I went through about 18 months ago.  First, I was vegetarian, then vegan for a while, then I tried raw veganism for 2-3 weeks, twice.  Now I have come full circle and I'm eating meat again. Some people have arguments against eating meat but this is the most grounding diet for me personally.

Other ways to unground yourself with your diet include...

Not eating enough and not eating regularly.  Eating three good meals daily and at regular intervals is more grounding than eating small snacks here and there because it sends your energy out of your head and into your digestive system on a regular basis.  If you miss meals regularly or if you fast, it isn't good for the lower chakras – or put in a non-jargon way, it's bad for you as a human being who is trying to stay tethered to the Earth plane.  Regular eating connects us to the earth.

I am not a nutritionist (so the above definitely does not constitute nutritional advice).  But it is what I've noticed with myself and working with other ungrounded people who are doing psychic development.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #2: You neglect your body habitually and you don't care about your personal appearance

Another Suggestion: Pay more attention to your body

A great way to take your focus away from your upper chakras and put it on your lower chakras is to treat and pamper your body (on an ongoing basis) and really pay it some attention.

Ways to do this include: spending more time and money on grooming – getting a new haircut, painting your nails; getting a pedicure or manicure; updating your wardrobe (throwing out all your old clothes that you no longer wear and getting some new ones that you love wearing and which make you feel great).  Investing money and energy on your appearance and the way you feel in your body (instead of investing it in psychic development, spiritual growth or some such thing) will help to move energy out of your upper chakras.  If you're very out of balance, it might be a good idea to set aside some of your budget each month especially to celebrate and take care of your physicality, beauty and appearance.

I know that this may seem not a very appealing task, especially if it's the middle of winter and you have no money but those are the times when you really need to go shopping (even if it's to the thrift/charity shop).  I myself have been guilty of wearing jogging bottoms to work and brown and black all the time (especially in the winter and seeing as I work from home).  But it's great for your sacral chakra if you can dress up in something beautiful and colourful more often, and allow yourself to wear nice things even if you're not leaving the house.

You have probably seen those TV shows where they take a drab, unhappy-looking person and turn them into someone who looks and feels ten times better because of their haircut and the way they dress.  That's the power of spending time and money on your appearance – it gives yourself and others the message 'I honour, love and celebrate my physical aspect.'  And that's important if you are out of balance with spirituality.

Another way to honour your physicality is to exercise regularly – walking is OK but something that raises your heart rate on a regular basis is even better.  I walk a couple of miles per day but presently I don't have activities such as cardio which raise my heart rate.  I have done in the past, though and I have noticed the difference it makes to feeling physically present.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #3: you don't want to do anything non-spiritual – it bores you.

Suggestion: Have some non-spiritual activities in your life whether it bores you or not.

This sounds obvious but having a variety of activities in your life (some of which are nothing to do with spirituality) is important.  The reason why most people don't need this article is because most normal people have jobs that keep them grounded.  If you work in personal development and spirituality (or if you work alone), you will need some sort of antidote to being in your head and to being alone.  That antidote could be a fun hobby that you do regularly that brings you into contact with people you wouldn't normally meet.

If you are really out of balance, you WILL have lost the taste for non-spiritual activities and in that case, I suggest a healing session with a professional to help you to bring about more balance into your life.  The taste for normal human activities is one that you need to recover bit by bit, and it comes back as you put your focus there for a while so don't worry if you are passionate about nothing but spirituality or your inner world for a while even as you explore other interests.  The desire for more normal, human stuff will come back once you focus on it.

Another Suggestion: Make sure you have some non-spiritual people in your life

Make sure that you don't avoid social contact with people who don't share your worldview.  In my opinion, being able to relate to people from all walks of life (including those who aren't overtly into personal or spiritual development) is important for balance.  I know very spiritual people who don't like having friends who aren't spiritual but I think that you don't need to share your worldview with everyone.  Not everyone needs to be acquainted with every single part of you that exists – after all, you are a multi-faceted person and there is more to you than your spirituality.

I agree that if you're very intimate with someone, you will probably want to share that part of you, but not with everyone who crosses your path.  If you do, you can miss out on what you CAN share with other non-spiritual, non personal–development type people.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #4: you spend loads of time working on your beliefs, goals and plans but you rarely create real change in your life or accomplish anything

Suggestion: Get out of your head and just take the next obvious step in front of you.

When you have a lot of energy in your upper chakras, you may need to get something done, but you can be stuck in planning, visualizing, dreaming, theorizing, tying yourself up in knots and going nowhere fast with that.  At those times, you will need to turn your brain and mind's eye off and just ask yourself – what is the next step that I could take now to move towards what I want (even if it is really a baby step).  And take it.  That takes you straight out of the realm of ideas and into the realm of action.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #5: The world seems like a very harsh and tragic place all the time

Suggestion: Stop taking everything so seriously and go and have some fun (stimulates the sacral chakra)

Spiritual, empathic people can feel people's plight and are often thinking about how to save the world.  From there it's not an easy transition to having fun and seeing the light side of life, yet you need that too as a human being.  Remember that life is not just a school and your purpose isn't to save the world from itself.  Life is also a fun playground, so switch off from your spiritual mission and make sure you do something that really tickles you regularly.  This isn't about going for a walk on your own or something dull like that.  I mean real fun.  Go and see a stand-up comedy act, see a friend who makes you laugh really hard, go dancing, etc.  Connect with the naughty, fun and playful you.  Find something that you can do regularly in your week to fill this need for fun and playing.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #6: You are neglecting the practical side of your life

Suggestion: Focus attention on your finances and physical survival (stimulates the root chakra)

Paperwork Overload Checking your bank balance every day is good because it connects you to your financial reality.  Making a budget is very grounding because it reins your energy in and makes you aware of your present limitations, as unappealing as that will sound to most people.

Cleaning, organizing and tidying is especially good for grounding, as is attending to errands and all those little jobs you have been meaning to do for a while. Preparing food, cooking and baking are all very grounding too. All those aspects of physical life that you would rather run away from are exactly what you need to attend to, in order to stay grounded.

________________________________________________________

FINALLY...

All this talk of cooking, baking and budgeting is all helpful stuff to some degree, but let's get to the heart of the issue.

If you are out of balance with your spirituality (i.e. addicted to spirituality), you're running away from something or someone. Imbalanced spirituality is a form of escapism that can become an addiction.

What are you trying to escape from?

It could be a past situation that is too difficult to address and process in a normal, human, emotional way, so you spiritualize it. It could be someone who hurt you. In order to cope with such situations, people can begin to look for an explanation of why such things have happened to them. It's the spiritual person's version of finding God after something bad happens. Spirituality is something that should enrich your life, support you and guide you. But it should not be something you depend on like a crutch, an escape mechanism or something that stops you from living life to the fullest. You should not be obsessed with finding out WHY something happened to you or what you are learning from events. Those things can reveal themselves later, in good time.

Here's a good way of knowing what you could be escaping from:

    What is the thing you still cry about for seemingly no reason? (especially when you're ill, feeling down or PMS-ing)
    If you shy away from reality, is it because you have anxiety issues that stop you from having a life?
    What is still breaking your heart if you're honest with yourself?
    What do you dislike about your life that you want to change?

At some point, we all have wounds that make us want to stay in bed and hide away from the world. There are very few people who reach a certain age and have no wounds at all. Find out what yours are and address them in a human, emotional way. We can resolve things on the level of spirit, but we must bring the healing down into the emotional and physical plane for anything to change. Sometimes action needs to be taken to put them to bed.

If you feel your spiritual addiction is connected to something traumatic that happened in the past (or to someone else), you might want to think about booking a cord cutting session with me or with someone else. I am passionate about this technique because it is the one that has helped me most with overcoming my spiritual addiction.

What about you? What keeps you from engaging fully with life?[/spoiler]

[hemayanti]

let it go, menurut saya cukup menggambarkan keadaan untuk tidak melekat terhadap apapun yang muncul dalam diri.
membiarkan semanya berlalu tanpa melekati namun menyadari bahwa itu ada, muncul, dan akhirnya lenyap.
dengan tidak berpikir "bagaimana seorang meditator itu seharusnya", berarti juga mencoba membiarkan semuanya berjalan sebagaimana adanya.

...
Tetapi  di lain pihak, memaksakan dirinya untuk "harus ini harus itu" ...

kalau let it go diartikan sebagai "harus melepas", bisa jadi terjebak dalam spiritul bypass juga yah. 

Btw, tadi saya kepikiran sesuatu tentang tricky mind. Sindrom Meditator Wanna Be, ditandai dengan oleh adanya 'keinginan menjadi'.

Tapi ketidak-inginan menjadi Meditator Wanna Be, adalah keinginan menjadi Non-Meditator Wanna Be. Intinya masih ada 'keinginan menjadi'.

Benar-benar tricky mind. Tentang ini, kalau ribet, gak perlu terlalu dipikirkan yak..

jadi sebaiknya yang benar bagaimana cc? 
tapi nanti kalo cc kasi tau yang benarnya, pas praktek akan kebayang2 kata2nya cc, terus jadi spiritual bypass deh. 
biarkan saja semua berjalan sebagaimana adanya.
tapi keinginan untuk "membiarkan semua berjalan sebagaimana adanya" itu juga 'keinginan menjadi' ya cc?

[dhammadinna]

 [at]  all: maaf saya belum mampu menjawabnya.

[hemayanti]

tambahan dari spiritual addiction
http://www.psychicbutsane.com/positive-thinking-and-healing/how-to-avoid-spiritual-addiction-stay-grounded-on-your-spiritual-path
 

How to Avoid Spiritual Addiction & Stay Grounded on Your Spiritual Path

[spoiler]A couple of weeks ago I wrote an article entitled – Are you out of balance with your spirituality?
In that article, I listed some symptoms of being out of balance with spirituality.
What does it even mean to be out of balance with spirituality?

If you're out of balance with spirituality, it means that you are giving the spiritual side of existence too much importance in your life.  You may spend all your time focusing on activities such as meditation, psychic development, and being immersed in that which is supernatural or otherworldly.

You may be so introverted and lost inside yourself that you find it difficult to relate to the rest of the world (when it's not about personal or spiritual development).  And you may take your spirituality so seriously that you have forgotten to have fun in life too. If you are imbalanced in your spirituality, you will also find that you have neglected other, more earthy areas of your life such as making money and your social life.

If you relate to this description, then I advise that you read that article about spiritual imbalance before you continue reading this article about how to overcome it.
The types of people who are commonly out of balance with spirituality include:

1. Psychics; healers; other people who work in personal development (with a spiritual slant).  It is easy to get out of balance with spirituality when you work in the spirit realm all day.
2. People who have gone through some sort of trauma in life and who are on a path of healing.   These people may be addicted to healing experiences, spiritual growth and the highs that you get from connecting to spirit.  These people will be spending so much time detoxing and healing, spiritually and emotionally, that they forget to live too.
3. People who dislike/hate something about their outside reality, but lack the motivation or courage to change it and find it easier to escape through the spiritual realm.
This article is written for those people who are seriously out of balance with spirituality, like the above groups.

Steps to lose an addiction to spirituality (without losing your spirituality)

If you recognize that you are out of balance, here are some lifestyle changes to help bring more balance back into your life.  I'm sure you've heard recommendations to ground yourself such as 'walk on the grass in bare feet' etc.  Those suggestions are good for people with a temporary imbalance but they are not good for people who are totally out of balance – such people will need to take bigger steps to redress the imbalance.

Note that one of the most effective ways to overcome a spiritual addiction is to get a healing session (such as a cord-cutting) and at the beginning of the session, set the intention to bring about more balance between your lower and upper chakras. Cutting a cord to someone who has caused you trauma or pain can make it easier for you to come back into your body.

Apart from that, here are some lifestyle suggestions to help bring more balance into your life:

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #1: You feel lightheaded and spacey in your body.

Suggestion: Check in with your eating habits.
Your eating habits can either help tether you to the earth plane or they can destabilize and unground you.

Both veganism and raw veganism I find to be ungrounding for me, personally. Often people ask during spirit guide coaching if a raw or high raw vegan diet is right for them at this time and the answer is usually something along the lines of 'no, not unless you are willing to suffer some imbalance.' Being on that kind of diet as a psychic or very spiritual person requires a very strong foundation and a good connection to reality. If you don't have that, it will unbalance you.

I bring this issue up because many people do become drawn to a really pure and light diet when they begin to get interested in spirituality or psychic development.  When you open your upper chakras, you might be drawn to giving up meat (the meat-eating students on my spirit guides coaching course often tell me that they notice an aversion to meat as the weeks go by).

Then as people become even more sensitive, they may be drawn to giving up fish.  Then some people take it one step further and give up animal products.  Some then feel drawn to giving up cooked food and become raw vegans.  This is a natural (but rather extreme) progression and one I went through about 18 months ago.  First, I was vegetarian, then vegan for a while, then I tried raw veganism for 2-3 weeks, twice.  Now I have come full circle and I'm eating meat again. Some people have arguments against eating meat but this is the most grounding diet for me personally.

Other ways to unground yourself with your diet include...

Not eating enough and not eating regularly.  Eating three good meals daily and at regular intervals is more grounding than eating small snacks here and there because it sends your energy out of your head and into your digestive system on a regular basis.  If you miss meals regularly or if you fast, it isn't good for the lower chakras – or put in a non-jargon way, it's bad for you as a human being who is trying to stay tethered to the Earth plane.  Regular eating connects us to the earth.

I am not a nutritionist (so the above definitely does not constitute nutritional advice).  But it is what I've noticed with myself and working with other ungrounded people who are doing psychic development.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #2: You neglect your body habitually and you don't care about your personal appearance

Another Suggestion: Pay more attention to your body

A great way to take your focus away from your upper chakras and put it on your lower chakras is to treat and pamper your body (on an ongoing basis) and really pay it some attention.

Ways to do this include: spending more time and money on grooming – getting a new haircut, painting your nails; getting a pedicure or manicure; updating your wardrobe (throwing out all your old clothes that you no longer wear and getting some new ones that you love wearing and which make you feel great).  Investing money and energy on your appearance and the way you feel in your body (instead of investing it in psychic development, spiritual growth or some such thing) will help to move energy out of your upper chakras.  If you're very out of balance, it might be a good idea to set aside some of your budget each month especially to celebrate and take care of your physicality, beauty and appearance.

I know that this may seem not a very appealing task, especially if it's the middle of winter and you have no money but those are the times when you really need to go shopping (even if it's to the thrift/charity shop).  I myself have been guilty of wearing jogging bottoms to work and brown and black all the time (especially in the winter and seeing as I work from home).  But it's great for your sacral chakra if you can dress up in something beautiful and colourful more often, and allow yourself to wear nice things even if you're not leaving the house.

You have probably seen those TV shows where they take a drab, unhappy-looking person and turn them into someone who looks and feels ten times better because of their haircut and the way they dress.  That's the power of spending time and money on your appearance – it gives yourself and others the message 'I honour, love and celebrate my physical aspect.'  And that's important if you are out of balance with spirituality.

Another way to honour your physicality is to exercise regularly – walking is OK but something that raises your heart rate on a regular basis is even better.  I walk a couple of miles per day but presently I don't have activities such as cardio which raise my heart rate.  I have done in the past, though and I have noticed the difference it makes to feeling physically present.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #3: you don't want to do anything non-spiritual – it bores you.

Suggestion: Have some non-spiritual activities in your life whether it bores you or not.

This sounds obvious but having a variety of activities in your life (some of which are nothing to do with spirituality) is important.  The reason why most people don't need this article is because most normal people have jobs that keep them grounded.  If you work in personal development and spirituality (or if you work alone), you will need some sort of antidote to being in your head and to being alone.  That antidote could be a fun hobby that you do regularly that brings you into contact with people you wouldn't normally meet.

If you are really out of balance, you WILL have lost the taste for non-spiritual activities and in that case, I suggest a healing session with a professional to help you to bring about more balance into your life.  The taste for normal human activities is one that you need to recover bit by bit, and it comes back as you put your focus there for a while so don't worry if you are passionate about nothing but spirituality or your inner world for a while even as you explore other interests.  The desire for more normal, human stuff will come back once you focus on it.

Another Suggestion: Make sure you have some non-spiritual people in your life

Make sure that you don't avoid social contact with people who don't share your worldview.  In my opinion, being able to relate to people from all walks of life (including those who aren't overtly into personal or spiritual development) is important for balance.  I know very spiritual people who don't like having friends who aren't spiritual but I think that you don't need to share your worldview with everyone.  Not everyone needs to be acquainted with every single part of you that exists – after all, you are a multi-faceted person and there is more to you than your spirituality.

I agree that if you're very intimate with someone, you will probably want to share that part of you, but not with everyone who crosses your path.  If you do, you can miss out on what you CAN share with other non-spiritual, non personal–development type people.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #4: you spend loads of time working on your beliefs, goals and plans but you rarely create real change in your life or accomplish anything

Suggestion: Get out of your head and just take the next obvious step in front of you.

When you have a lot of energy in your upper chakras, you may need to get something done, but you can be stuck in planning, visualizing, dreaming, theorizing, tying yourself up in knots and going nowhere fast with that.  At those times, you will need to turn your brain and mind's eye off and just ask yourself – what is the next step that I could take now to move towards what I want (even if it is really a baby step).  And take it.  That takes you straight out of the realm of ideas and into the realm of action.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #5: The world seems like a very harsh and tragic place all the time

Suggestion: Stop taking everything so seriously and go and have some fun (stimulates the sacral chakra)

Spiritual, empathic people can feel people's plight and are often thinking about how to save the world.  From there it's not an easy transition to having fun and seeing the light side of life, yet you need that too as a human being.  Remember that life is not just a school and your purpose isn't to save the world from itself.  Life is also a fun playground, so switch off from your spiritual mission and make sure you do something that really tickles you regularly.  This isn't about going for a walk on your own or something dull like that.  I mean real fun.  Go and see a stand-up comedy act, see a friend who makes you laugh really hard, go dancing, etc.  Connect with the naughty, fun and playful you.  Find something that you can do regularly in your week to fill this need for fun and playing.

________________________________________________________

Symptom of Imbalance #6: You are neglecting the practical side of your life

Suggestion: Focus attention on your finances and physical survival (stimulates the root chakra)

Paperwork Overload Checking your bank balance every day is good because it connects you to your financial reality.  Making a budget is very grounding because it reins your energy in and makes you aware of your present limitations, as unappealing as that will sound to most people.

Cleaning, organizing and tidying is especially good for grounding, as is attending to errands and all those little jobs you have been meaning to do for a while. Preparing food, cooking and baking are all very grounding too. All those aspects of physical life that you would rather run away from are exactly what you need to attend to, in order to stay grounded.

________________________________________________________

FINALLY...

All this talk of cooking, baking and budgeting is all helpful stuff to some degree, but let's get to the heart of the issue.

If you are out of balance with your spirituality (i.e. addicted to spirituality), you're running away from something or someone. Imbalanced spirituality is a form of escapism that can become an addiction.

What are you trying to escape from?

It could be a past situation that is too difficult to address and process in a normal, human, emotional way, so you spiritualize it. It could be someone who hurt you. In order to cope with such situations, people can begin to look for an explanation of why such things have happened to them. It's the spiritual person's version of finding God after something bad happens. Spirituality is something that should enrich your life, support you and guide you. But it should not be something you depend on like a crutch, an escape mechanism or something that stops you from living life to the fullest. You should not be obsessed with finding out WHY something happened to you or what you are learning from events. Those things can reveal themselves later, in good time.

Here's a good way of knowing what you could be escaping from:

    What is the thing you still cry about for seemingly no reason? (especially when you're ill, feeling down or PMS-ing)
    If you shy away from reality, is it because you have anxiety issues that stop you from having a life?
    What is still breaking your heart if you're honest with yourself?
    What do you dislike about your life that you want to change?

At some point, we all have wounds that make us want to stay in bed and hide away from the world. There are very few people who reach a certain age and have no wounds at all. Find out what yours are and address them in a human, emotional way. We can resolve things on the level of spirit, but we must bring the healing down into the emotional and physical plane for anything to change. Sometimes action needs to be taken to put them to bed.

If you feel your spiritual addiction is connected to something traumatic that happened in the past (or to someone else), you might want to think about booking a cord cutting session with me or with someone else. I am passionate about this technique because it is the one that has helped me most with overcoming my spiritual addiction.

What about you? What keeps you from engaging fully with life?[/spoiler]

cc, g sekalian diartikan lagi. 

[dhammadinna]

Hanya ingin menambahkan.
___________

Suatu hari Yang Mulia Anuruddha mendatangi Thera Sariputta dan berkata:

"Sahabat Sariputta, aku dapat melihat seribu alam semesta dengan mata-dewa yang sangat jernih yang mengungguli pandangan mata manusia biasa. Aku berusaha tanpa lengah; selalu penuh perhatian; tidak ada kegelisahan dalam diriku dan aku selalu tenang; pikiranku terpusat dan terkonsentrasi dengan baik. Tetapi batinku tidak mampu melepaskan kemelekatan (tanha) dan pandangan salah (ditthi), dan belum terbebas dari asava."

Kemudian Thera Sariputta membabarkan khotbah kepada Thera Anuruddha mengenai meditasi:

"Sahabat Anuruddha, fakta bahwa engkau secara sadar berpikir 'Aku dapat melihat seribu alam semesta dengan mata-dewa yang jernih dan mengungguli pandangan mata manusia biasa' membuktikan bahwa engkau memiliki keangkuhan (mana)."

"Sahabat Anuruddha, fakta bahwa engkau secara sadar berpikir 'Aku berusaha tanpa lengah; selalu penuh perhatian; tidak ada kegelisahan dalam diriku dan aku selalu tenang; pikiranku terpusat dan terkonsentrasi dengan baik,' membuktikan bahwa engkau memiliki kegelisahan (uddhacca)."

"Sahabat Anuruddha, fakta bahwa engkau secara sadar berpikir 'Tetapi batinku tidak mampu melepaskan kemelekatan dan pandangan salah dan belum terbebas dari asava' membuktikan bahwa engkau memiliki keraguan dan kekhawatiran' (samsaya-kukkucca)."

"Oleh karena itu aku ingin menasihati engkau sebagai berikut: 'Lepaskanlah tiga hal ini (keangkuhan, kegelisahan, dan keraguan) yang sedang berkembang dalam batinmu. Tanpa memedulikan hal-hal ini, arahkanlah batinmu ke arah keabadian (Nibbana)!"

Sumber: Riwayat Agung Para Buddha (buku ke 3, halaman 2687)

let it go, menurut saya cukup menggambarkan keadaan untuk tidak melekat terhadap apapun yang muncul dalam diri.
membiarkan semanya berlalu tanpa melekati namun menyadari bahwa itu ada, muncul, dan akhirnya lenyap.
dengan tidak berpikir "bagaimana seorang meditator itu seharusnya", berarti juga mencoba membiarkan semuanya berjalan sebagaimana adanya.kalau let it go diartikan sebagai "harus melepas", bisa jadi terjebak dalam spiritul bypass juga yah. 

jadi sebaiknya yang benar bagaimana cc? 
tapi nanti kalo cc kasi tau yang benarnya, pas praktek akan kebayang2 kata2nya cc, terus jadi spiritual bypass deh. 
biarkan saja semua berjalan sebagaimana adanya.
tapi keinginan untuk "membiarkan semua berjalan sebagaimana adanya" itu juga 'keinginan menjadi' ya cc?

"Jadi harus bagaimana?" <--- Ini adalah pertanyaan yang sulit untuk saya jawab. Tricky-mind harus kita sadari sendiri. Jalan keluarnya pun hanya bisa kita temukan sendiri. Siapapun yang menyadari hal ini, akhirnya harus mengakui bahwa seseorang harus cukup cerdas untuk menjadi buddhis.

Mengenai "let it go", banyak buku/ceramah (misalnya Ajahn Chah) yang mendengungkan "let it go". Tapi, walaupun sering membacanya, frasa tersebut seolah tidak ada artinya saat saya berhadapan langsung dengan pengalaman pribadi saya. Saya hanya tau bahwa istilah ini bukan seperti mantra melegakan, tapi merupakan kebijaksanaan Ajahn Chah yang tidak bisa saya copy-paste ke batin saya sendiri.

Kalau dipaksa copy-paste, ditambah bumbu Spiritual-bypass dan Tricky-mind, saya bukan "let it go (membiarkannya berlalu)" tapi "memaksa ia berlalu". Karena toh saya tidak suka, saya ingin dia cepat-cepat berlalu.

Ananta Toer mengatakan: "Dunia Kepengarangan adalah Petualangan Sendirian Menembus Hutan". Dan saya ingin copy beberapa katanya menjadi: "Praktik (perjalanan menembus dhamma) adalah Petualangan Sendirian Menembus Hutan".

Walaupun Buddha dan siswa-Nya memaparkan sesuatu tentang "melepas", tapi pada akhirnya kita tetap harus melakukan perjalanan itu sendiri untuk menemukan bagaimana "melepas" itu sebenarnya. Demikian pula tentang tricky-mind dan jalan keluarnya.

[hemayanti]

setuju cc.
pengalaman spiritual setiap orang pasti berbeda.