Kalyanamitta

[kusalacitta]

Namo Buddhaya,

Teman-teman.. ada yang tau gak pembahasan tentang Kalyanamitta ada di sutta mana aja? Saya pengen membaca lebih banyak lagi tentang kalyanamitta. Kalyanamitta atau sahabat baik yg dimaksud Sang Buddha itu yg seperti gimana? Mungkin teman2 yang merasa sdh menemukan kalyanamitta seperti yg dikatakan Sang Buddha bisa kasi sedikit sharing

Terima kasih 

 

[Sumedho]

Dari wikipedia tentang Kalyanamitta

In the Pali Canon's Upaddha Sutta (SN 45.2), there is a conversation between the Buddha and his disciple Ananda in which Ananda enthusiastically declares, 'This is half of the holy life, lord: admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie.' The Buddha replies:
'Don't say that, Ananda. Don't say that. Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life. When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, & comrades, he can be expected to develop & pursue the noble eightfold path.'[3]

The Buddha elaborates that, through such friendships, one develops each of the path factors through seclusion, dispassion and cessation. Further, the Buddha states that through spiritual friendship with the Buddha himself followers have gained release from suffering.

More broadly, in Itivuttaka 1.17, the Buddha declares:
'With regard to external factors, I don't envision any other single factor like admirable friendship as doing so much for a monk in training, who has not attained the heart's goal but remains intent on the unsurpassed safety from bondage. A monk who is a friend with admirable people abandons what is unskillful and develops what is skillful.'[4]

In terms of householders, the Buddha provides the following elaboration in the Dighajanu Sutta (AN 8.54):
'And what is meant by admirable friendship? There is the case where a lay person, in whatever town or village he may dwell, spends time with householders or householders' sons, young or old, who are advanced in virtue. He talks with them, engages them in discussions. He emulates consummate conviction in those who are consummate in conviction, consummate virtue in those who are consummate in virtue, consummate generosity in those who are consummate in generosity, and consummate discernment in those who are consummate in discernment. This is called admirable friendship.'[5]

Kalyanamitta Sutta

Discourse on Having Good Friends
Dutiya Vagga, Kosala Samyutta, Sagatha Vagga Samyutta,
Samyutta Nikaya, Suttanta Pitaka
SOURCE: "FIVE SAMYUTTAS FROM SAGATHAVAGGA SAMYUTTA"
Translated by U Tin U (Myaung), Yangon
Edited by the Editorial Committee, Burma (Myanmar) Tipitaka Association, 1998       
      


      129. The Bhagava was staying at Savatthi... Having seated himself at a suitable place, King Pasenadi of Kosala addressed the Bhagava thus: "Venerable Sir, while in quiet seclusion this thought occurred to me:

      "The Bhagava has expounded the Dhamma well.

      (But) that Dhamma is (fully beneficial) only for those who have good friends, who have good companions, and who are fully inclined towards virtue1. It is not (beneficial) for those who have wicked friends, who have wicked companions, and who are inclined towards wickedness."

      "Quite so, Great King; quite so, Great King. The dhamma has been well expounded by me. (But) that Dhamma is (fully beneficial) only for those who have good friends, who have good companions, and who are fully inclined towards virtue. It is not (beneficial) for those who have wicked friends, who have wicked companions, and who are inclined towards wickedness."

      "At one time, Great King, I was staying in the Sakyan market town of Nagaraka in the land of the Sakyans. It was then, Great King, Bhikkhu Ananda approached me, made obeisance, and sitting at a suitable place, said to me:

      'Venerable Sir, friendship with the good, companionship with the good, inclination towards virtue can bring about half-fulfilment of the practice of the Life of Purity.'

      "On this being said, Great King, I said thus to Bhikkhu Ananda: 'Don't say so, Ananda; don't say so Ananda!, Friendship with the good, companionship with the good, inclination towards virtue can indeed, Ananda, bring about complete fulfilment of the practice of the Life of Purity. Ananda, it is to be certainly expeced of a bhikkhu who has a good friend, a good companion and an inclination for virtue that he will cultivate the Ariya Path of Eight Constituents and that he will practise it repeatedly.

      'Ananda, how does a bhikkhu who has a good friend, a good companion and an inclination for virtue cultivate the Ariya Path of Eight Constituents, and practise repeatedly the Ariya Path of Eight Constituents? In this matter Ananda, the bhikkhu cultivates Right View that is directed to detachment from defilements, that is directed to freedom from defilements, that is directed to cessation of defilements, and that is aimed at uprooting of defilements and speedy attainment of Nibbana. He cultivates Right Thinking.., He cultivates Right Speech... he cultivates Right Action... He cultivates Right Livelihood... He cultivates Right Effort... He cultivates Right Mindfulness... He cultivates Right Concentration that is directed to detachment from defilements, that is directed to freedom from defilements, that is directed to cessation of defilements and that is aimed at uprooting of defilement and speedy attainment of Nibbana.

'In this way, indeed, Ananda, a bhikkhu who has a good friend, who has a good companion, and who has an inclination for virtue cultivates Ariya Path of Eight Constituents and practises repeatedly the Ariya Path of eight Constituents. Ananda, this is the very way in which one should understand the statement that having a good friend, having a good companion, and having an inclination for virtue can bring about complete fulfilment of the Practice of the Life of Purity.

'Indeed, Ananda, through me as a good friend, beings who are subject to rebirth escape from rebirth: beings who are subject to ageing escape from ageing; beings who are subject to illness escape from illness; beings who are subject to death escape from death; beings who are subject to grief, lamentation, pain, distress and anguish escape from grief, lamentation, pain, distress and anguish. This is the way, Ananda, one should understand the statement that having a good friend, having a good companion, having inclination for virtue can bring about complete fulfilment of the Practice of the Life of Purity.'

"Therefore, Great King, under my Teaching you should try to conduct yourself thus: 'I shall have good friends, I shall have good companions, I shall have inclination for virtue.' This is how you should try to conduct yourself.

"Having a good friend, Great King, having a good companion, having an inclination for virtue, you should abide by the single factor of not being remiss in mindfulness of meritorious deeds.

"Great King, owing to your being not remiss in mindfulness and your abiding in mindfulness, the ladies of your court who follow you will think thus: 'The King is not remiss in mindfulness and abides in mindfulness (of meritorious deeds) and we too will now be not remiss in mindfulness and will abide in mindfulness.'

"Great King, owing to your being not remiss in mindfulness and your abiding in mindfulness, the vassal kings who follow you will think thus: 'The King is not remiss in mindfulness and abides in mindfulness (of meritorious deeds) and we too will now be not remiss in mindfulness and will abide in mindfulness.

"Great King, owing to your being not remiss in mindfulness and your abiding in mindfulness, members of your forces who follow you will think thus: 'The king is not remiss in mindfulness and abides in mindfulness (of meritorious deeds) and we too will now be not remiss in mindfulness and will abide in mindfulness.

"Great King, owing to your being not remiss in mindfulness and your abiding in mindfulness, your subjects in towns and countries who follow you will think thus: 'The king is not remiss in mindfulness and abides in mindfulness (of meritorious deeds) and we too will now be not remiss in mindfulness and will abide in mindfulness.'

"Great King, owing to your being not remiss in mindfulness and your abiding in mindfulness, you yourself will be secured and well protected; the ladies of the court will be secured and well protected and your treasury and storehouses will be secured and well protected."

      Thus said the Bhagava... (this further utterance:)

     "He who wishes for greater and greater riches should have constant mindfulness.

      "The wise praise constant mindfulness in the performance of meritorious deeds. The wise person who has constant mindfulness obtains double benefits. The man of firm character, who enjoys benefits in the present existence and also benefits in the future existence, is said to be a wise person."

     

1. (fully beneficial) only for those who have good friends: Although the Buddha expounded the Dhamma for all beings without discrimination, it is beneficial only for those who believe in it and follow its Teachings. Those who keep bad company cannot benefit from it because such persons lack faith in the teaching. It is like medicine however efficacious a medicine may be, if the patient has no faith in it and does not take it, the efficacy is lost on him.

[Sumedho]

Buat saya, semua member disini adalah kalyana-mitta saya. Teman seperjalanan dalam Dhamma yang saling belajar dan mengingatkan.

[kusalacitta]

Buat saya, semua member disini adalah kalyana-mitta saya. Teman seperjalanan dalam Dhamma yang saling belajar dan mengingatkan.

Thanks Guru postingannya 
iya sih, saya ngrasa seperti itu juga, terasa banget atmosfer baiknya disini  Teman2 di sitting group (yg saya ikuti sekarang) juga seperti teman2 seperjalanan yang sama2 sedang berjuang untuk lepas dari dukkha  kalo berdiskusi dengan teman2 yang seperti ini, punya minat dan kecenderungan yang mirip2, rasanya nyaman dan mendorong semangat kita untuk belajar lebih tekun, entah teori, entah prakteknya, pokoknya masing2 seolah tau kapan harus mengingatkan dan menghargai. Sikap yang rendah hati dan punya simpati. 

Andaikan nih, seorang teman baik kita, yang kita anggap kalyanamitta dan yang selama ini kita kenal baik perilakunya, baik pula sopan santunnya, juga menekuni dan menghargai Dhamma sebagai pedoman hidupnya, lalu berubah... menjadi pelupa, tidak lagi tekun mencari dan memperdalam Dhamma.. dia malah terbawa arus yg membuatnya (sikap dan prilakunya) makin jauh dari Dhamma, bagaimana cara mengingatkannya? karena semakin sulit berkomunikasi dengannya, semakin jarang bertemu. Terus terang, hanya sekali aja saya mengingatkannya untuk kembali ingat pada Buddha Dhamma (lewat sms), saat dia meminta maaf atas kata2nya. Saya merasa tidak ada hak juga untuk terus menerus mengingatkannya seperti itu karena ajaran Buddha menjunjung kebebasan, apa salah pola pikir ini? Melihat sikonnya, saya hanya bisa memberi dia yang terbaik melalui ucapan dan prilaku saya, berharap dia mengingat hal ini suatu hari nanti. Karena biasanya, teladan lebih banyak berbicara darpada beribu2 kata. Sempat saya berpikir, sedikit menganalisa gitu Apa mungkin saya yang salah mengenal pribadinya, dengan membuat anggapan2 seperti itu (dia orang yg baik.. dia orang yg selalu praktek ajaran, yang bisa diajak diskusi dan mau mengingatkan??) Tapi.. teringat hukum anicca, saya bisa saja benar bisa salah, karena semuanya selalu berubah.. ga tau juga deh... 
Ada kerinduan sih melihat teman lama ini kembali mengikuti kegiatan2 seperti diskusi, meditasi, dan kembali pada ketulusan hati yg benar sebagai seorang teman, sahabat, dan saudara se-dhamma 

Ada yang bisa kasi saya tips, kritik, atau saran2 tentang hal ini? Apa aja deh yang kurang lebih berhubungan gitu hehehe...

Terima kasih.. 

Namo Buddhaya 

[kusalacitta]

Guru Sumedho... itu postingannya bagian kedua, blm selesai ato gimana? tampaknya seperti kpotong tuh... 
Thanks 

[langitbiru]

kl mnrt aku sih.. mungkin kusalacitta bisa mengajak dia berbicara heart to heart *cie*
ga perlu speasifik ke masalah ke BuddhaDharma, tp apa pendapat dia ttg hidup, ttg pengalaman dia dsbnya. mungkin dr situ km bisa tau kenapa dia berubah. dr sana mungkin bisa tau apa yg membuat dia berubah ..dan juga apa yg bisa membuat dia berubah kembali spt dulu.

[Sumedho]

Thanks ramani kusalacitta.

Kalau saya sih setuju sama bu jendral. pake heart2heart. Kalau si objek tidak suka atau menutup diri atau bahkan memang ini bukan jalan pilihannya lagi, yah kita tidak bisa memaksa. Hanya diri dia yang bisa merubah dirinya sendiri. Kita hanya berusaha, dia yang memutuskan. *mirip kata2x siapa yah???*

Jangan sampe kita jadi 'ganggu' buat si objek walaupun tujuan kita baik.

[kusalacitta]

Thanks cie sarannya.. 

Aku merasa menjadi sulit berkomunikasi dengannya lagi dikarenakan dia melakukan 'penolakan' dalam artian hanya aku saja yang berbicara.. jadi monolog gitu.. aku hanya bisa bertanya saja, tapi dia tidak membalas. kutanya lagi apa ada masalah, mungkin bisa didiskusikan, biar enak.. juga tidak dijawab.. kalau memang tidak ada, kenapa dia jadi bersikap seperti itu? Heran sih, dulu tidak begitu. Apa mungkin tipe orang yang seperti angin kali ya? hehe.. kayak angin, kadang mudah lupa dan melupakan apa yang pernah terjadi dalam hidupnya, termasuk apa yang dia komitmenkan sendiri untuk dia jalani nantinya. hehe.. beranalogi sendiri  Melihat keadaan, juga reaksi2nya, mungkin kalau aku ajak bicara terus malah jadi menekan dia, kasihan dia sih.. jadi aku 'menghentikan' usahaku mengajak berbicara dia tentang hal2 yang 'menurutku' dia berubah, dia tidak seperti dulu, yang kayak anak hilang arah.. let it go kali yah.. 

Hmm.. aku mau mencoba saran cie2.. kalo ada kesempatan bertemu lagi  dan kondisinya pas Tentu aku berharap dia kembali menjadi baik dan tekun lagi belajar dhamma. Karena bila ada lebih dari 1 orang yang bisa memberi teladan yang baik, bukannya lebih baik?

Salam metta 

[kusalacitta]

Thanks guru.. 
Ramani faham.. 
Mirip analoginya dgn kata2 Sang Buddha, "Para Tathagata hanyalah penunjuk jalan, engkaulah yang harus berusaha" bener gak? 

[dipasena]

cie... sapa tuh, ayo ngaku, ayo ngaku...  kaya anak ilang ato kaya domba yg ilang ? [mode canda on]

emang ada orang tipe demikian, mungkin karena ada suatu perasaan yg tidak menyenangkan sehingga ia menutup diri, bersikap beda terhadap kita, ya emang kudu bicara dari H2H [hati to hati] deh... ato pake acara 4 mata... nah bicara permasalahannya, kalo dia mau membuka dirinya, mungkin ramani bisa menemukan jawaban atas pertanyaan ramani kusalah-citta 

[kusalacitta]

thx aa tonoo 
teman lama aja kok... yg mungkin mpe sekarang masi ada hubungan karma hehehe... eh mana jawaban aa buat pertanyaanku kapan hari, tentang shio/rasi bintang tu..? 

[langitbiru]

ngomong2 tmnnya cewe apa cowo ya?
kyknya cowo ya?

well.. coba baca "man from mars, woman from venus", lumayan bisa menjelaskan perbedaan cara cowo n cewe dlm menghadapi masalah.
kl cewe, udah pasti bakalan ngoceh panjang lebar mengenai masalahnya sampe bosan n pegel. dan ini bagian dr "terapi".
sdgkan cowo, kl menghadapi masalah *dlm hal ini blm tentu masalah dgn kusalacitta* bisa di pekerjaan dll, akan menutup diri, tdk mau berbicara dgn org lain, sambil merenung dan berusaha mencari jawaban. dan sebaiknya dibiarkan untuk menyendiri *beri perhatian secukupnya, tptdk perlu mendorong org itu untuk berbicara mengenai masalahnya. makin didorong justru makin menjauh, dan proses recovery-nya malah bisa makin tambah lama.*