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Buddhist jokes

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Dukkha, Anicca and Anatta walk into a bar. Dukkha says, “Life sucks!” Anicca says, “This will pass!” Anatta says, “You talkin’ to ME?!”

Exchange between the Zen master and his student:
Student: What happens after death?
Master: I don’t know.
Student: How can you not know? You are a Zen master.
Master: Yes, but I’m not a dead one.

How many Buddhist monks does it take to change a lightbulb?
None….the lightbulb must change from within.

A detective had been sent to investigate a murder in Zen monastery. When he arrived the place was silent, still and appeared to be deserted. Having looked into room after room and seen nobody, on opening the door of a large hall he suddenly found himself facing what looked like hundreds of people sitting in meditation. Startled, he pulled out his gun and shouted “freeze!”.

dari website

Monastery Life

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the "R" ! , we missed the "R" !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was... CELEBRATE !!! "

The next time someone asks how long have you been studying Buddhism.
Simply state, “All my lives.”

why did the Buddhist coroner get the sack?
ans: because he’d always record the cause of death as birth.

‘Ayye,’ said the Samaneri to the Fully Enlightened Bhikkuni, ‘how many hindrances still give you trouble?’
To which the Bhikkuni, a woman of few words, replies, ‘Nun.’

Upon bungee jumping off of a towering skyscraper…
Clinging says: “Hold on for dear life!”
Nibbana says: “Let yourself go!”
Anatta says: “We’re not having this conversation!”

One anagarika to another, ‘do you think we should offer this to the monks first, it looks like a good quality dark chocolate? It’s almost a work of dark chocolate art!!!’
‘No. Don’t you know? The monks can’t have anything to do with the dark arts.’

When pulled over by the traffic police and asked why he was walking slowly along the painted white lines of a busy highway, the Buddhist replied, “because this is the middle way.”

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
May who?
May you be well and happy! :-)

2 women were talking in a hair salon.
One asks: “so is your lazy son still out of work? What’s he up to these days?”
the lady replies: “he’s still at home but at least now he’s taken up meditation”
“meditation? what’s that?”
“I don’t know but it’s better than sitting at home and doing nothing”

wag ternyata udah ada thread yg mirip  ^:)^

jokes spiritual
buddhist jokes

A student is on one side of a raging river. There are no bridges. He has no boat.
He shouts out to the master on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?”
The master shouts back: “You are on the other side.”

Master: “You stop being a young student and become a great master when you realize that you don’t exist.”
Student: “To whom do you speak, young student?”

Q: Why can't a Buddhist vacuum under the sofa?
A: Because he has no attachments.”

"Is it ok for a Buddhist monk to send emails?
As long as it doesn't have attachments..."


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