I just found this article when i don't have any idea for what kind of web to browse
Here you go:
Three years ago I met a guy who is 30 years older than me. He lives in another country but we became good friends through email.
After nine months I started to develop a fondness for him. But then, he told me he has a wife and daughter after the latter found out about us.
I was heartbroken but after a while, with his persistent persuasion, I decided to continue our friendship. As time went on, we became intimately in love with each other. Whenever possible, he would come to Malaysia to meet me (about once a year) or I would fly to his country.
Recently, after a trip to visit him, I realised I couldn't continue doing this anymore and asked for a breakup, or at least to stop correspondence until I was ready to treat him as "just a friend".
He begged me not to and said he would leave his wife soon. But after a while, he said to let fate take its path - if we can become husband and wife, so be it. If not, we still have a strong friendship to hold on to.
He asked me not to stop seeing other guys, and if I happen to get married, he will blame himself for being "too late" to be with me.
He has given me all kinds of help when I needed it and has said it's fine if we remain as friends who help each other. For him, it is almost impossible to find someone like me, who he can openly and freely share his thoughts and problems with.
I am not sure what to do now because I know I will get too dependent on him if we continue our friendship. He once told me that there is no more love between him and his wife. What really puzzles me is why he can't leave her. My guess is it's too troublesome and scandalous to get divorced and get together with a much younger partner.
The Silly Bird --> Answer from consultant
If you think you are silly for sticking to a futile relationship, why continue? You know that it will not get anywhere as this guy is not going to leave his wife to marry you.
Ask yourself if you truly love him or is this simply an affair that seems wonderfully romantic and adventurous. The man will want to hang on - what has he got to lose?
He is involved in a safe relationship with a young, attractive woman who is willing to share so much with him. You only meet once a year and his wife will not get even a whiff of his indiscretion. Telling you that his daughter had found out about you could be a ploy to make you keep your distance.
This guy appears to be seasoned and careful about this liaison, so be mindful that there could be other women just like you. A fellow who loves you will not be so magnanimous as to offer you to others.
He has suggested that you date other guys but to continue with the relationship. This is his way of keeping you around until the affair fizzles out naturally. No strings attached, no future implications. He is asking for nothing more than sex when you are ready and available.
So wake up and stop dreaming for the happily-ever-after. And what are the promises of help and friendship about? Has he been giving you money and presents? Why compromise your youth, looks and happiness for crumbs?
Forget friendship because it is meaningless in this relationship. He is using you until there is nothing left for you to give. Change your email, wipe out your Facebook and get on with your life without such unnecessary strings attached.
Topic: I met a guy who 30 years older than me (Read 2902 times)