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Offline Huiono

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #60 on: 17 January 2008, 11:57:27 PM »
Hahaha...
Very funny...
I always wait for these some jokes...

:))  :)) :)) :))
"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act"
                                                                                                   -George Orwell

Offline F.T

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #61 on: 18 February 2008, 11:09:39 PM »
A true story from the Japanese Embassy in USA.

Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training
Before he visits Washington and meets with President Bill Clinton.
The instructor told Mori " Prime Minister, when you shake hand with
President Clinton, please say 'how are you'.
Then Mr. Clinton would say, "I am fine, and you?" Now you should say 'me too'.
Afterwards we the translators, will do all the work for you."
It looks quite simple, but the truth is ................
When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You?"
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
"Well, I am Hilary's husband, ha ha ha..."
Then Mori replied confidently "Me too, ha ha ha.."
Then there was a long silent moment, in the meeting room. :|

:P


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Offline Huiono

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #62 on: 28 February 2008, 02:04:41 PM »
^
=))
:)) :))
=))
"During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act"
                                                                                                   -George Orwell

Offline Hikoza83

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #63 on: 01 March 2008, 10:27:44 AM »
last night an angel walked in to my room.
I asked him to watch over u.
But he came back I asked him why. He said :
An angel doesn’t watch over another angel.
Aku akan melaksanakannya dengan tubuhku,
Karena apa gunanya hanya membaca kata-kata belaka?
Apakah mempelajari obat-obatan saja
Dapat menyembuhkan yang sakit?
[Bodhicaryavatara, Bodhisattva Shantideva]

Offline Hikoza83

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #64 on: 01 March 2008, 10:28:11 AM »
When I see a baby, I remember “ Teddy Bear Doll”.
When I see a little girl I remember “ Barbie doll”
But when  I see u, I remember “PANADOLL”.  :whistle:
Aku akan melaksanakannya dengan tubuhku,
Karena apa gunanya hanya membaca kata-kata belaka?
Apakah mempelajari obat-obatan saja
Dapat menyembuhkan yang sakit?
[Bodhicaryavatara, Bodhisattva Shantideva]

Offline Hikoza83

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #65 on: 01 March 2008, 10:29:04 AM »
Good friends R like a computer :
they ‘enter’ur life,
‘save’ u in their heart,
‘format’ ur problems,
‘shift’ u 2 opportunities N
never ‘delete ‘ u from their memory!
Aku akan melaksanakannya dengan tubuhku,
Karena apa gunanya hanya membaca kata-kata belaka?
Apakah mempelajari obat-obatan saja
Dapat menyembuhkan yang sakit?
[Bodhicaryavatara, Bodhisattva Shantideva]

Offline Lex Chan

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #66 on: 07 March 2008, 11:06:07 PM »
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played Solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't #9 on this list


AND NOW YOU ARE LAUGHING at yourself. :))

Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to. ;D
« Last Edit: 11 March 2008, 02:22:15 PM by Lex Chan »
“Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway”
-Mother Teresa-

Offline morpheus

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #67 on: 09 March 2008, 09:41:13 PM »
* I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it
* Neo, sooner or later you're going to realize just as I did that there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path

Offline Forte

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #68 on: 09 March 2008, 10:03:33 PM »
Ini bukan milikku, ini bukan aku, ini bukan diriku
6 kelompok 6 - Chachakka Sutta MN 148

Offline Hikoza83

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #69 on: 10 March 2008, 11:49:45 PM »
I"ll get married next week.
There will be a small celebration & limited guest will be invited.
Please don’t bring any gift,
just bring me a right woman to marry.  :))
Aku akan melaksanakannya dengan tubuhku,
Karena apa gunanya hanya membaca kata-kata belaka?
Apakah mempelajari obat-obatan saja
Dapat menyembuhkan yang sakit?
[Bodhicaryavatara, Bodhisattva Shantideva]

Offline Lex Chan

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #70 on: 09 April 2008, 11:42:22 AM »
*HEAVEN* is when you have:
AMERICAN salary
GERMAN car
CHINESE food
INDONESIAN wife

*HELL* is when you have:
AMERICAN wife
GERMAN food
CHINESE car
INDONESIAN salary..

=)) =)) =))
^:)^
“Give the world the best you have and you may get hurt. Give the world your best anyway”
-Mother Teresa-

Offline Hikoza83

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #71 on: 11 April 2008, 12:37:35 AM »
cara minta naik gaji ke bos..

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.

I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of your worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company .

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Quote
Spoiler for jawaban dari bos:

I kNOw you have been working very hard.

NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.

You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet .

NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession.

After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad .

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean ..

=)) =)) =))
Aku akan melaksanakannya dengan tubuhku,
Karena apa gunanya hanya membaca kata-kata belaka?
Apakah mempelajari obat-obatan saja
Dapat menyembuhkan yang sakit?
[Bodhicaryavatara, Bodhisattva Shantideva]

Offline Forte

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #72 on: 15 April 2008, 10:53:58 AM »
Few Funny Definitions

   
* School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
   
* Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
   
* Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
   
* Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
   
* Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
   
* Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
   
* Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
   
* Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
   
* Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
   
* Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
   
* Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
   
* Father: A banker provided by nature.
   
* Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
   
* Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
   
* Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
   
* Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
   
* Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
   
* Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
   
* Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
   
* Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
   
* Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
   
* Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 
   
* Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
   
* Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
   
* Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Ini bukan milikku, ini bukan aku, ini bukan diriku
6 kelompok 6 - Chachakka Sutta MN 148

Offline Kokuzo

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #73 on: 15 April 2008, 01:51:41 PM »
Quote
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

errr....  ^-^

Offline Sumedho

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Re: Some jokes in english
« Reply #74 on: 01 May 2008, 06:09:15 AM »
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
"My Mobile No. Has changed. Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"

============ ========= ========= ======
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

============ ========= ========= ========= ===
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD! U have come again.

============ ========= ========= ========= ====
Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house."
Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : "I was watching TV news..."

============ ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng  comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for compliment."

============ ========= ========= ========= ======
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ==
Ah Beng  in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and Says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng  - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
Ah Beng told his servant: "Go and water the plants!"
Servant: "It's already raining."
Ah Beng : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =====
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning 
Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM
There is no place like 127.0.0.1

 

anything