Buddhist Humour

[oddiezz]

then..
joke pertama..
Q: How many Zen buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they are the light bulb.

untuk menyindir, bahwa Buddhist itu lah light bulb it sendiri,
Buddhist itu sendirilah Buddha ( ato calon Buddha ) 

Yang pertama udah ngerti..
Yang dua lainnya?

yang kedua,
ttg tidak ada jawaban yang pasti benar dalam Zen, tergantung dari tingkat pencerahan seseorang.

yang ketiga,
sering kali dalam ko'an Zen, seseorang mencapai pencerahan saat diberi jawaban atau petunjuk yang sama sekali tidak ada hubungannya dengan pertanyaan.
misalnya: saat Gutei mengangkat jari telunjuknya, bocah yang dipotong jarinya mencapai pencerahan...

semoga bermanfaat

[Sumedho]

sadis bener sampai potong jari.

kalau dipotong jari tapi nga mencapai pencerahan, wahh bisa runyam tuh

[Sunkmanitu Tanka Ob'waci]

kalau potong leher langsung pencerahan?

[Sumedho]

yah namanya aja cerita, aye ragu kalo itu beneran....

[oddiezz]

sadis bener sampai potong jari.

kalau dipotong jari tapi nga mencapai pencerahan, wahh bisa runyam tuh

jadi kesulitan kalo ngetik reply di DC

[oddiezz]

A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An angel (or deva) stops them and asks, “Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?”

The Christian replies, “My ancestors disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I killed, I lied, I cheated my wife and I was greedy. However,  died for me and all my sins are forgiven. So I deserve to enter Heaven.”

“OK,” replies the Angel. “Sounds good, but I must give you an entrance examination before you can enter.” The Christian promptly agrees and the Angel asks him: “How do you spell God?” It is an easy question, and the Christian passes through the Gate.

Next came the Muslim, who says, “I did not do any especially good or evil things during my life but I was very devout. I prayed to God five times a day. So, I too should enter Heaven.” The Angel replies, “It sounds OK to me, but I have to give you a test also. How do you spell Allah?” The Muslim passes the test and enters Heaven.

Finally, it is the Buddhist’s turn. He tells the Angel, “I’ve done all the good things in my life and I followed Buddha’s five precepts: I never killed, I donated to charities, I meditated every day, and I never cheated my boss nor my customers.” The Angel replies, “That is very good, but there are no exceptions. You must pass the entrance test also in order to get in.” Thinking that the test should be simple, the Buddhist happily agrees.

The Angel then asks him: “How do you spell Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva?”

[oddiezz]

This morning, I received one of those rude mails. The person wrote me this one-line mail:

      "budda is dead you moron move on with your life"

And I replied:

      "You are alive, friend, move on with Buddha's death."

- Tan Chade Meng-

[Forte]

A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An angel (or deva) stops them and asks, “Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?”

The Christian replies, “My ancestors disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I killed, I lied, I cheated my wife and I was greedy. However,  died for me and all my sins are forgiven. So I deserve to enter Heaven.”

“OK,” replies the Angel. “Sounds good, but I must give you an entrance examination before you can enter.” The Christian promptly agrees and the Angel asks him: “How do you spell God?” It is an easy question, and the Christian passes through the Gate.

Next came the Muslim, who says, “I did not do any especially good or evil things during my life but I was very devout. I prayed to God five times a day. So, I too should enter Heaven.” The Angel replies, “It sounds OK to me, but I have to give you a test also. How do you spell Allah?” The Muslim passes the test and enters Heaven.

Finally, it is the Buddhist’s turn. He tells the Angel, “I’ve done all the good things in my life and I followed Buddha’s five precepts: I never killed, I donated to charities, I meditated every day, and I never cheated my boss nor my customers.” The Angel replies, “That is very good, but there are no exceptions. You must pass the entrance test also in order to get in.” Thinking that the test should be simple, the Buddhist happily agrees.

The Angel then asks him: “How do you spell Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva?”

This morning, I received one of those rude mails. The person wrote me this one-line mail:

      "budda is dead you moron move on with your life"

And I replied:

      "You are alive, friend, move on with Buddha's death."

- Tan Chade Meng-

Nice joke bro..