Forum DhammaCitta. Forum Diskusi Buddhis Indonesia
Komunitas => Waroeng English => Topic started by: bluppy on 06 December 2011, 06:06:44 PM
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Dukkha, Anicca and Anatta walk into a bar. Dukkha says, “Life sucks!” Anicca says, “This will pass!” Anatta says, “You talkin’ to ME?!”
Exchange between the Zen master and his student:
Student: What happens after death?
Master: I don’t know.
Student: How can you not know? You are a Zen master.
Master: Yes, but I’m not a dead one.
How many Buddhist monks does it take to change a lightbulb?
None….the lightbulb must change from within.
A detective had been sent to investigate a murder in Zen monastery. When he arrived the place was silent, still and appeared to be deserted. Having looked into room after room and seen nobody, on opening the door of a large hall he suddenly found himself facing what looked like hundreds of people sitting in meditation. Startled, he pulled out his gun and shouted “freeze!”.
dari website
http://sujato.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/buddhist-jokes/
http://www.rudyh.org/buddhist_buddhism_jokes_fun__humor-quotes.htm
http://www.dhammawheel.com/viewtopic.php?f=12&t=5479
http://buddhistsjustwannahavefun.tribe.net/thread/6e18d590-a7a8-4145-bdd4-afe3a791442f
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Monastery Life
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the "R" ! , we missed the "R" !"
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was... CELEBRATE !!! "
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The next time someone asks how long have you been studying Buddhism.
Simply state, “All my lives.”
why did the Buddhist coroner get the sack?
ans: because he’d always record the cause of death as birth.
‘Ayye,’ said the Samaneri to the Fully Enlightened Bhikkuni, ‘how many hindrances still give you trouble?’
To which the Bhikkuni, a woman of few words, replies, ‘Nun.’
Upon bungee jumping off of a towering skyscraper…
Clinging says: “Hold on for dear life!”
Nibbana says: “Let yourself go!”
Anatta says: “We’re not having this conversation!”
One anagarika to another, ‘do you think we should offer this to the monks first, it looks like a good quality dark chocolate? It’s almost a work of dark chocolate art!!!’
‘No. Don’t you know? The monks can’t have anything to do with the dark arts.’
When pulled over by the traffic police and asked why he was walking slowly along the painted white lines of a busy highway, the Buddhist replied, “because this is the middle way.”
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
May
May who?
May you be well and happy! :-)
2 women were talking in a hair salon.
One asks: “so is your lazy son still out of work? What’s he up to these days?”
the lady replies: “he’s still at home but at least now he’s taken up meditation”
“meditation? what’s that?”
“I don’t know but it’s better than sitting at home and doing nothing”
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wag ternyata udah ada thread yg mirip ^:)^
jokes spiritual
http://dhammacitta.org/forum/index.php?topic=11899.0
buddhist jokes
http://dhammacitta.org/forum/index.php?topic=6455.0
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A student is on one side of a raging river. There are no bridges. He has no boat.
He shouts out to the master on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?”
The master shouts back: “You are on the other side.”
Master: “You stop being a young student and become a great master when you realize that you don’t exist.”
Student: “To whom do you speak, young student?”
Q: Why can't a Buddhist vacuum under the sofa?
A: Because he has no attachments.”
"Is it ok for a Buddhist monk to send emails?
As long as it doesn't have attachments..."
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"Is it ok for a Buddhist monk to send emails?
As long as it doesn't have attachments..."
When pulled over by the traffic police and asked why he was walking slowly along the painted white lines of a busy highway, the Buddhist replied, “because this is the middle way.”
2 women were talking in a hair salon.
One asks: “so is your lazy son still out of work? What’s he up to these days?”
the lady replies: “he’s still at home but at least now he’s taken up meditation”
“meditation? what’s that?”
“I don’t know but it’s better than sitting at home and doing nothing”
:)) :)) :))
yang tiga ini yang paling lucu menurutku...
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a scientists buy three brain from three diffrent country,..he want to know how abrain work, and the test need aBuddhism monk for his research.
and he call the all the Monk to see those brain.
the first brain is from Amerika, and the price is $ 1.000.000 ,and no coment from all the monk be'cause its from same country with they are.
they see brain no.2, from japan, they saw the price, $2.000.000,- , one monk give a scientists a question, " why this brain so expensive from american brain ?"
the scientists answer : " because they brain is so good, they can create robot, they are have clever brain, so the price is so expensive.
and then they came into brain no.3, from Indonesia, how amazing, the price is $10.000.000,- wow that's was afantastic price.
one another monk ask the scientist "why this brain from Indonesia so very expensive ?"
the scientists smailing look at the monk and answer " do u all want to know, why, bacause, this brain is so special, mostly Indonesian people is never use their brain , so, its still original, that why this brain is so expensive, so pure brain, never in use ^__^!" . the end ;D ;D
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Setelah memilih pizza vegetarian, maka DL mengeluarkan duit 50 US dollars
dan menunggu pengembalian (changes) dari kasir...
cashier : tidak mengembalikan duitnya, malah mengatakan : the changes can only come within you!
DL = Dalai Lama
ada yg mengerti tentang jokes tsb ? nahhhh :))
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Setelah memilih pizza vegetarian, maka DL mengeluarkan duit 50 US dollars
dan menunggu pengembalian (changes) dari kasir...
cashier : tidak mengembalikan duitnya, malah mengatakan : the changes can only come within you!
DL = Dalai Lama
ada yg mengerti tentang jokes tsb ? nahhhh :))
joke yang menarik :)
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joke yang menarik :)
changes = perubahan
changes = pengembalian
jadi maksudnya perubahan hanya dpt terjadi dari dalam kita sendiri....
berani banget ya ngambil duitnya DL.... :))
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Sis Bluppy lanjutin lagi donk cerita lucunya, keren. :jempol:
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oh iya, ini hasil nyontek semua dari internet :-[
ada beberapa gambar lucu di sini.
http://dhammatelukintan.blogspot.com/search/label/Humor%20Pics
lagi males banget download gambar en upload lagi
jadi cuma kasih link nya aja ;D
NB: kalo google: buddhist cartoon
bakal ketemu banyak gambar lucu juga
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Zen Master and His Disciple
After two years stayed in a monastery, one young disciple thinks that he was going no where in his meditation, he feels no improvement at all on his mental attitude, no calmness and peacefulness, his mind was still deluded and wandering every where, so he decides to ask his teacher.
D : “Master, may I ask you about my practice?”
M : “ Of course my son, what do you want to ask?”
D : “I feel that I made no progress at all in my meditation”
M : “Well, actually you made a significant progress”
D : “Which one Sir?”
M : “You were aware that you made no progress, it's really a good progress when you understand that you made no progress.”
D : (Puzzled) “Sir, and how to pacify my mind to be still and calm?”
M : “Just sitting and doing nothing”
D : “ I did it for two years sir, but my mind still thought so many things”
M : “Oh, yes, no thinking too”.
D : “But, How come?”
M : “Ah, and also no questioning”.
-ooOoo-
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Kisah berikut diceritakan Bhikkhu S.Dhammika dalam komentar di blognya:
In the 1970s there was an officer in the Sri Lankan immigration department who responsible for western monks and who did her best to make our lives a misery. When some monks asked for a one month or two month visa extension she would say “What for?” and they would reply “Because I am meditation.” She would then say “The Buddha said that it you practice as you have been taught you will attain enlightenment within seven days. I’ll give you a seven day extension!”
=))
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=)) =)) =))
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:))
Ternyata ada yg ngerti jg joke nya
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Kisah berikut diceritakan Bhikkhu S.Dhammika dalam komentar di blognya:
In the 1970s there was an officer in the Sri Lankan immigration department who responsible for western monks and who did her best to make our lives a misery. When some monks asked for a one month or two month visa extension she would say “What for?” and they would reply “Because I am meditation.” She would then say “The Buddha said that it you practice as you have been taught you will attain enlightenment within seven days. I’ll give you a seven day extension!”
=))
according Satipatthanasutta we can attain enlighten within 7 days if practice it. :hammer:
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according Satipatthanasutta we can attain enlighten within 7 days if practice it. :hammer:
Benar :))
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Benar :))
unfortunately so hard in this time to attainment like the taught. ^:)^
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according Satipatthanasutta we can attain enlighten within 7 days if practice it. :hammer:
That's why immigration officer only give 7 days visa.
=)) =)) =))