Kabur dari Kota

[tesla]

Getting Out of the City ~ The Hidden Dangers of Duality and Spiritual Materialis
Meninggalkan Kota ~ Bahaya Terselubung dari Dualitas dan Materialistis Spiritual

Sharing sessions at the 10 Day Silent Illumination Retreat held at the Dharma Drum Retreat Center, Pine Bush, New York, Oct 10, 2004
Berbagi pengalaman 10 hari retret di Dharma Drum Retreat Center, Pine Bush, Newyork, 10 Oktober 2004

Many Buddhists these days are leaving the city. Urban life is hectic, frantic and scattered. So it makes sense that practitioners who want to slow down to live at a pace that is sane are deciding to move out into the countryside. In fact, anybody who wants to slow down their life enough to enjoy it has my full support. But in all things, intention matters. And acts born of fear are to be discouraged.
Banyak buddhist yg meninggalkan kota sekarang. Kehidupan kota terlalu ramai, gelisah, dan pecah. Jadi baik kalau pemeditasi pindah ke daerah pedesaan. Saya sih mendukung siapapun yg ingin menikmati hidupnya yg lebih sederhana. Tapi apa dulu niatnya? Kalau tindakannya lahir dari rasa takut, maka saya tidak mendukung.

It is foolish to leave the city because one is afraid of it. Running away from our problems is an act of ignorance.
Bodoh kalau lari dari kota karena takut. Lari dari masalah tu sebuah kebodohan bathin.

There are many practitioners who are falling for this trap. They are deeply sincere in their commitment to the Dharma. I acknowledged and applaud that sincerity. The trap is very subtle. It is no surprise that many fall for it.
Banyak pemeditasi yg jatuh ke jebakan ini. Mereka udah sangattt tulus junjungin Dhamma. Saya akuin ketulusannya. Tapi Jebakan ini sangat halus, jadi ga heranlah kalau banyak yg kena.

There are two concepts that work in combination to create the pitfall: spiritual materialism and thinking that nirvana is separate from samsara.
Ada 2 konsep yg bekerja menciptakan jebakan betmen ini: materialistis spiritual(1) dan berpikir nirvana terpisah dari samsara(2)

Spiritual materialism
The spiritual materialist is lurking within all practitioners to some degree. It is that part of us that wants to make spiritual practice a credential; something to be proud of; something to rely on for happiness. The average materialist relies on things like status, wealth, attainment, fame and the like. In each case, the materialist seeks out objects that he thinks will bring him happiness. He thinks, "I am working hard now, and I am not happy. But that does not matter because soon I will have a promotion (or new car, or beautiful partner … whatever really) and then I will be happy. After that I will be loved, and I will never have to be afraid or feel incomplete ever again." This is the way that most people think. It is natural. But it is this kind of thinking that makes life go round in endless cycles of suffering. This problem is clear to all of those who are sincerely committed to spiritual practice. "How can happiness come from getting a promotion?" says the practitioner. "No. Happiness must come from within," he concludes. So far so good. But what happens when the practitioner says, "I must become proficient in practice, and only then can I be happy. Only then will I have the capacity to help others"? Essentially, he or she is doing the same thing as the materialist, except the materialist waits for worldly promotion while the spiritual materialist waits for spiritual promotion. "Once I have eradicated all scattered thoughts … Once I can consistently enter samadhi … Once I have seen the Nature … only then …."
Materialistis Spiritual
Penyakit materialistis spiritual  terjadi pada setiap pemeditasi sampai taraf tertentu. Ini yg membuat latihan spiritual penting bagi kita; membanggakan; menghasilkan kebahagiaan. Materialis biasa bergantung pada status, kekayaan, pencapaian, pamor, dst... Materialistis mencari-cari objek yg bikin mereka hepi. Dia pikir, "Ga apalah gw skr kerja keras n ga hepi. Yg penting nanti dapet promosi (atau dapat mobil baru, atau pasangan sexy ... dll), saya jadi hepi. Setelah itu gw akan dicintai, tidak ada takut lagi atau merasa kurang." Inilah cara hampir semua orang berpikir. Ini alami. Namun berpikir kek gini bikin hidup terus berputar dalam lingkaran penderitaan tak terbatas. Masalah ini jelas sekali bagi setiap orang yg berteguh pada latihannya. "Gimana hepi bisa datang dari promosi?" kata pemeditasi. "Bukan, hepi datang bersamaan" dia pikir. Okelah. Tapi apa yg terjadi kalau pemeditasi mikir, "Gw harus ahli dalam meditasi, jika demikian baru gw hepi. Hanya begitu baru gw mampu nolong orang"? Intinya sih, yg dia lakukan sama aja dg materialistis, kecuali materialistis bergantung pada obek duniawi, sedangkan dia pada objek spiritual. "Ketika gw udah menghapus pikiran yg kemana2... Ketika gw udah bisa gampang masuk samadi.. Ketika gw dah lihat hakekat sebenarnya ... hanya ketika itulah... (gw hepi)..."

Practice in the world of samsara: nirvana is rooted in samsara
There are some who are looking for a bit of bliss to escape the world. It is no good to engage in such "state-chasing". It is addiction of a different kind. But what of those who are not just looking for the bliss of samadhi? What if they genuinely want to help others but feel that they are not strong enough to do so? Do I still criticize those people? Yes, I do. The problem is subtle. I have noticed that many of those who are leaving the cities are high-achievers. They are very capable, diligent and sincere people. And there is nothing wrong with being a high-achiever; in fact, it can be a very good thing. But all good things go wrong when not understood properly. One way that the high-achiever mindset can go wrong in the context of practice is when one seeks out the "perfect" conditions for practice. I know a practitioner who made a fervent vow to attain Buddhahood. First he tried meditating in the city. But it was too noisy. How can anyone not be distracted by the crazy people, the barking dogs, the honking cars? So then he moved to the countryside. He lived as a hermit by a stream. "What a peaceful place," he thought, "Finally, I can settle down into my practice." But once he sat and closed his eyes, he noticed that the stream was full of frogs and insects and birds. None of them would shut up! So then he removed himself deep into a cave in the mountains. It was so dark he could not even see his own hands. What a perfect place for practice. But there was a problem – the whispers of the wind. Unwilling to give up hope, he stuffed up his ears with earplugs. At this point he was disturbed by nothing … except the beating of his own heart. In the end he told me that practice is impossible in this world. This practitioner spent so much of his time looking for "perfect" conditions for practice that he had none left for practice itself. No wonder he could not stand the beating of his own heart.
Berlatihlah di samsara: nirvana berakar di samsara
Ada beberapa yg mencari bis... eh bliss (kebahagiaan) untuk keluar dari dunia. Tidaklah baik mengejar2 kondisi begini. Ada tambahan lain lagi. Bagaimana kalau mereka bukan cuma cari bliss di samadhi? Gimana kalau mereka sebenarnya mo bantu orang lain tapi ga cukup kuat? Apa kamu masih kritik orang ini? YA, SAYA KRITIK. Masalahnya sangat halus. Saya melihat orang yg meninggalkan kota adalah orang yg sudah mahir. Mereka orang yg mampu, pintar dan tulus. Tidak ada salahnya menjadi mahir; Kenyataannya adalah itu merupakan hal yg sangaaat baik. Tapi hal baik bisa jadi buruk kalau salah pengertian. Salah satunya jika mereka mencari kondisi "sempurna" utk berlatih. Saya tau mereka bersemangat utk mencapai Kebuddhaan sesuai sumpah mereka. Pertama ia berlatih di kota. Terlalu ribut. Siapa yg tidak terganggu dg orang2 gila, gongongan anjing, klatson mobil? Pindah ke pedesaan. Hidup sbg pertapa di pinggir sungai. "Tempat yg sangat damai", pikirnya. "Sekarang gw bisa mantap latihan." Tapi baru duduk dan tutup mata, ia denger suara kodok, serangga & burung. Mereka ga mo diam! Jadi dia pindah ke gua. Gelap banget sampai2 dia ga bisa liat tangannya sendiri. Tempat yg sempurna. Tapi ada 1 masalah --- ada deru angin. Udahlah, sumbat telinga ini. Wah udah ga ada yg ganggu... kecuali... detak jantungnya sendiri... Akhirnya dia berkata tidak mungkin berlatih di dunia ini. Pemeditasi ini menghabiskan waktu utk mencari kondisi "sempurna" utk berlatih tapi ga ada. Tidak heran dia tidak dapat mengatasi detak jantungnya sendiri.

to be continue
ke wc dolo yah

[N1AR]

pitfall = betmen
bukan jebakan yang bisa di tanah / lubang yah
bos betmen apa yah

[tesla]

This does not mean that practitioners should never go on intensive retreats. The difference is that retreats are always for a set time. The practitioner knows that he or she will be returning to the insanity of everyday life. Those on retreat must not come with the attitude of running away from the world and their responsibilities. Rather, they merely put everything down temporarily. Most importantly, I encourage retreatants to have the attitude that they put down out of compassion. They put down for a while so that they can pick up again later with more mindfulness, gentleness and grace after the retreat. All practitioners need to examine themselves closely and find out what their intentions really are. Are they compassionate? Or are they fear parading as compassion?
Ini ga berarti semua tidak boleh ikut retret intensif. Perbedaannya kalau ikut retret adalah waktunya terbatas. Pemeditasi harus tau dia akan kembali ke kegilaan sehari-harinya. Jgn ikut retret sebagai pelarian dari dunia dan tanggung jawab. Sebaiknya, seperti meletakkan semua beban sementara. Yg lebih penting, saya dukung pengikut retret agar bersikap meletakkan (beban) dg bertanggung jawab penuh ketabahan. Istirahat bentar biar nanti bisa angkat lagi dg lebih perhatian, lebih lembut dan luwes setelah retret. Semua pemeditas harus cek diri mereka teliti dan cari tahu apa "niat" mereka. Apa mereka penuh ketabahan? atau cuma rasa takut yg nyamar?

Another problem with high-achievers is that, all too often, their achievements provide them shelter from the real world. Have you ever met a person who knows absolutely everything about his or her area of expertise, but has trouble performing simple everyday tasks? In a sense, it is true that it is easier to become a great practitioner in the country than in the city. But most of the time, those who become deeply proficient in practice in the country are completely unprepared for practice in the city. They specialize in practicing well in quiet peaceful places. As such, they are vexed when asked to practice where there is noise and chaos. They become attached to the notion that they are great practitioners, so they run away from any situation that might prove otherwise. In this way, their practice stagnates. Indeed, such people are great practitioners … but only when conditions suit them.
Masalah lain bagi yg sudah mahir adalah pencapaian mereka menciptakan mereka perlindungan dari dunia nyata (jhana). Apa kamu pernah ketemu orang yg mahir di bidangnya, tapi tugas harian sepele ga bisa? Begitu jg, seseorang bisa menjadi sangat mahir dalam meditasi di desa daripada di kota. Pada umumnya mereka yg mahir di desa tidak siap utk berlatih di tengah kota. Mereka ahil di tempat yg tenang. Kemudian, mereka kacau ketika diminta berlatih di tengah keributan & kekacauan. Mereka melekat pada gelar "pemeditasi hebat", jadi mereka lari dari situasi yg mungkin akan membuktikan mereka sebaliknya. Dg begini latihan mereka mandek. Memang, orang tersebut adalah pemeditasi hebat... tapi hanya jika kondisinya cocok utk mereka.

The duality of gain and loss
But all of this is encompassed by the fallacy of thinking about everything in terms of success and failure. If I miss the promotion, I have failed. If I don't have the best marks, I have failed. Failure is unacceptable. Only failures fail. So when we start practicing and find that we are making "no progress" we feel that we have failed. The city is too much for our feeble minds. We feel overwhelmed. Because we are weak and we are bad, we must leave the city so that we can train our minds to be strong. Only then can we come back to the city. Only then will we succeed in honoring the Dharma. This is a problem. When we practice correctly, we constantly remind ourselves that in reality, there is no such thing as gain or loss. No such thing as success or failure. When we concern ourselves with gain and loss, we seek out success and run away from failure. When this fear of failure is at the root of a practitioner's decision to leave the city, I must protest.
Dualitas dari untung dan rugi
Semua ini tidak lari dari cara berpikir kita sehari-hari dalam artian "sukses" atau "gagal". Jika saya gagal dapet promosi, saya gagal. Jika saya tidak dapat nilai bagus, saya gagal. Kegagalan tidak diterima. Jadi ketika bermeditasi kita menemukan bahwa kita ga buat kemajuan dan kita merasa kita gagal. Kota terlalu berat utk pikiran kita lemah. Kita bersemangat. Karena kita lemah dan buruk, maka tinggalkan kota dan kita latihan dulu biar pikiran jadi kuat. Siap itu baru kembali ke kota. Ketika itulah kita sukses menjunjung Dhamma. Ini salah. Ketika kita berlatih benar, kita akan selalu ingat, pada kenyataannya tidak ada untung atau rugi, tidak ada sukses atau gagal. Jika kita mikirin untung atau rugi, tentu kita cari sukses dan lari dari gagal.

What is this fear? It is none other than self-attachment. It is because I have not lived up to my expectations that I have failed. But self-attachment is normal. We are all self-attached to some degree. Does this, from a Buddhist perspective make us all failures? Does this mean that we all have to become accomplished Buddhist masters before we can live in the city?
Apa itu ketakutan ini? ini tidak lain adalah kemelekatan thd diri. Ini terjadi karena saya tidak hidup sesuai dg harapan saya maka saya gagal. Kemelekatan thd diri adalah normal. Kita semua melekat pada diri sampai pada taraf tertentu. Jika demikian, sebagai Buddhist kita gagal donk? Apa kita harus jadi Buddhist master dulu baru bisa tinggal di kota?

Committing to practice
Failure is never a failure if we use it as a skillful and compassionate way to see ourselves. Each occasion when, because of the madness of city life, we become angry, confused, jealous or vexed, we have a perfect opportunity to deepen our understanding of our own self-cherishing. Seeing ourselves is hard. There is so much fear inside of us. There is so much neediness. We all want to be happy. We all want to be loved. And we are all afraid that we don't deserve either. There are monsters of vexation lurking inside all of us.
Teguh pada latihan
Kegagalan bukanlah kegagalan jika kita menggunakannya sebagai sesuatu yg bermanfaat dan tabah melihat diri kita sendiri. Setiap kejadian, karena kegilaan kehidupan kota, kita menjadi marah, binggung, cemburu atau kacau, kita mempunyai kesempatan untuk melihat diri kita sendiri lebih dalam. Melihat diri sendiri sangat sulit. Ada terlalu banyak ketakutan di dalam kita. Terlalu banyak syarat. Kita semua ingin bahagia, ingin dicintai. Dan kita semua takut apa yg tidak kita inginkan. Sebenarnya ada monster kekacauan dalam diri kita semua.

But it is by learning to face, to accept and love, these monsters that we grow as human beings. And that is practice. Practice is not the end of vexations. Practice is fronting up to them. There is a Thai monk I know. He lives in a peaceful and serene forest … with tigers! He lives with a family of wild tigers. He has befriended them and so lives in harmony with them. And so it is with our vexations. We need to learn to accept our imperfection, our confusion, our suffering. We need to learn not to fear our fear. And as we see deeply into the nature of our vexations, we realize that from the beginning, they were none other than wisdom and compassion. None other than Buddha-nature itself. Just as the Heart Sutra tells us, nirvana is none other than samsara and samsara none other than nirvana. If you are trying to reach nirvana by running away from samsara, if you are trying to improve your practice by running away from the city, then you are falling for the same old trap of aversion and craving.
Namun dg belajar menghadapi,menerima dan mencintai, monster ini, kita akan tumbuh sebagai manusia. Dan beginilah latihan. Latihan bukanlah akhir dari kekacauan. Latihan justru menghadapi ini semua. Ada seorang bhikkhu Thailand yg kukenal. Dia hidup di hutan yg tenang dan damai... bersama HARIMAU! Dia hidup bersama keluarga harimau liar. Dia sudah berteman dg mereka shg hidup harmonis dg mereka. Begitu jg dengan kekacauan kita. Kita harus belajar menerima kekurangan kita, kebingungan kita, penderitaan kita. Kita harus belajar tidak takut pada ketakutan kita. Dan ketika kita sudah melihat hakikat sesungguhnya dari kekacauan, kita akan mengetahui bahwa sejak awal mereka tidaklah berbeda dari kebijaksanaan dan ketabahaan. Itu tidak lain adalah Buddha-Nature sendiri, tidak ada Buddha Nature terpisah yg lain. Seperti Sutra Jantung (ga tau gw bahasa indo heart sutra ) memberitahu kita, nirvana tidaklah lain dari samsara dan samsara tidak lain dari nirvana. Jika kamu ingin mencapai nirvana tapi berusaha lari dari samsara, jika kamu ingin meningkatkan latihan namun lari dari kota, maka kamu jatuh pada jebakan lagu lama, kebencian dan kemelekatan.

To go to the country to practice is just another way of seeking practice out there. It is precisely because practice is within that there is nothing to seek. It is not easy. If seeking nothing were easy then we would all be Buddhas already. In fact, it's the hardest thing in the world. So it would be unreasonable to expect us to get it right first time. We need to have enough compassion for ourselves to be ok with the feeling that our lives are too much. We need to come back, time and time again to improve our practice. One step at a time. That is why it is called "practice." We keep on doing it. We fall. We get back up again. Breathing and smiling.
Pergi ke desa utk berlatih seharusnya seperti mencoba cara berlatih lain. Tepatnya tidak ada yg dicari dari latihan ini. Ini tidak mudah. Jika berhenti mencari itu mudah maka semua kita udah jadi Buddha. Kenyataannya, inilah yg paling sulit di dunia. Tidaklah mungkin utk berharap agar kita dapat benar seperti ini dari awal Kita harus punya kesabaran & ketabahan yg cukup agar kita dapat merasa oke terhadap hidup kita yg terlalu banyak ini. Kita harus kembali, waktu demi waktu untuk meningkatkan latihan kita. Satu langkah setiap waktu. Inilah yg kita sebut "latihan". Kita terus melakukannya. Kita jatuh. Kita bangun kembali. Tetap bernafas dan tersenyum.

But fronting up to our vexations directly and all at once is something only rare people can do. The rest of us need an intermediary. If we can't face wild tigers with the strength of our compassion, then it makes sense to first see tigers from behind a fence. In our minds, the fence is the breath and the smile.
Menghadapi kekacauan kita langsung dan seketika adalah hal yg hanya mungkin dilakukan sedikit orang. Sisanya kita butuh bertahap. Jika kita tidak bisa langsung berhadapan dg harimau liar dg kekuatan ketabahan kita, maka coba dulu lihat harimau di kandangnya. Dalam pikiran, Kadang tersebut adalah nafas dan senyum.

Use every vexation as a reminder to come back to the breath and to the gentle smile. When should we do this? All the time. Over and over again, until the tiger and you are so accustomed to each other's presence that the fence is no longer needed.
gunakan semua kekacauan kita sebagai pengingat utk kembali bernafas dan tersenyum lembut. Kapan kita harus melakukan ini? Sepanjang waktu, terus dan terus, sampai harimau dan kamu jadi hopeng dan kandang itu tidak dibutuhkan lagi.

bersambung

[tesla]

Welcome to the Path. Practitioners often complain that since they started practicing their lives seem to have gotten worse. Since they learnt the Four Noble Truths, all they see is suffering! In response I tell them, "Congratulations! Your practice is progressing." How can practice be progressing if you are feeling more vexed? Isn't practice the removal of vexations? Yes and no. You remove vexations by penetrating into their true nature, not by repressing, pushing and destroying them. Before you can penetrate vexations, you need to first see that they are there in the first place. So your life feels worse? You're not feeling the joy, peacefulness and equanimity you expected from Buddhist practice? Well, I say to you, welcome to the Path!
Selamat datang di Sang Jalan. Pemeditasi sering komplen kalau sejak mereka latihan hidup mereka terasa makin suram. Karena mereka belajar 4 Kebenaran Ariya, semua yg mereka lihat adalah penderitaan! Jawaban saya pada mereka adalah, "Selamat! Laithanmu telah maju!" Bagaimana latihan bisa dikatakan maju jika kamu merasa makin kacau? Bukankah latihan ini untuk mengakhiri penderitaan? Ya dan tidak. Kamu akan mengakhiri penderitaan dengan menembus pada hakikat sebenarnya penderitaan, bukan dengan menekannya, mendorongnya dan menghancurkannya. Berhubung kamu belum lihat hakikat sesungguhnya, yah yg kamu lihat mereka (penderitaan) aja. Jadi hidupmu tambah buruk? Tidak merasa bahagia, damai, seimbang seperti apa yg kamu harapkan dari Latihan ini? Yah... kukatakan lagi, selamat datang di Sang Jalan.

I like to remind my students that the lotus flower grows in s h i t ponds. It has its roots in filth. Nirvana is rooted in samsara. It is in samsara that Buddhadharma is needed, but furthermore, it is only because of samsara that Buddhadharma is at all possible. So I invite Buddhist practitioners to stay in the city. Your flowering is needed there. And there is plenty of fertilizer to go around.
Saya ingin mengingatkan murid2ku bahwa bunga lotus tumbuh di kolam tai. Ia berakar di kotoran. Nirvana berakar pada samsara. Di samsara lah Buddha-dharma dibutuhkan, lebih lanjut lagi, hanya karerna samsaralah Buddha-dharma menjadi mungkin. Jadi saya mengundang pemeditasi Buddhist utk tinggal di kota. Mekarnya anda akan dibutuhkan di sana. Dan ada banyak sekali pupuk (tai buat tumbuh kali yah) utk bekerja di sana.

By Guojun Fashi

oleh: Guojun Fashi
terjemahan bebas: tesla

[tesla]

pitfall = betmen
bukan jebakan yang bisa di tanah / lubang yah
bos betmen apa yah

bet men = orang-orang yg suka taruhan (penjudi)

[kiman]