20 Hilarious School Exam Answers
Published by djmick on October 9th, 2009
The following questions were set in last year’s GCSE examination in England.
These are genuine answers from 16 year olds, not very bright, but entertaining, 16 year olds. Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegarQ. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeistsQ. How is dew formed
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspireQ. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fightQ. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowedQ. In a democratic society, how important are elections
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an electionQ. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairsQ. What happens to your body as you age
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinentalQ. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adulteryQ. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature deathQ. What is artificial insemination
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cowQ. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cowQ. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorised (e.g. The abdomen)
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts – the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and UQ. What is the fibula?
A. A small lieQ. What is the most common form of birth control
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominiumQ. Give the meaning of the term ‘Caesarean section’
A. The caesarean section is a district in RomeQ. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.Q. What does the word ‘benign’ mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eightQ. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head