FW: Juz a sharing...

[Yumi]

copas from email.. 

ARE YOU READY???

A friend, who is so stressed up with her family life, is insisted on going for a period of retreat in Thailand. Probably 3 to 6 months of retreat, as an antidote to her depression. I put my previous comfort to her in writing….. I hope to be no harm to share with all of you. May it be useful to anybody who wishes to go for a retreat especially those who love going periodically.

Some people treat meditation as direct antidote to depression. They tend to avoid problems than to solve problems…thinking that a period of retreat can truly solve their problems. This is not an easy issue. Once they go back to their hectic life, again they feel depressed. In that case, retreat is just a temporary place to hide from problems.

Another simple teaching given by Buddha, if a person has so much anger within, it is not proper to immediately sit for a Metta meditation. Only after his anger subsided, then he can do Metta meditation. Similarly, one needs to solve problems before hand, then go to meditate. This is the correct way.

There are some basic things that are NO less important that we should not object to practice if we want to excel in meditation.

Take these few things into your consideration [for a support to your progress]:


1.   Learn the words of the Buddha.

He said that the entire holy life is good friendship, by relying upon him as a good friend; beings are freed from birth, aging, death, sorrow, lamentation, pain, displeasure, and despair. It is of utmost important to understand and to know what the Buddha taught. In present days, many have been teaching methods [of meditation] that have not come from the Buddha. Good friendship [with right knowledge to the teaching of the Buddha] is the entire holy life. Therefore, one must be wise enough to choose the right teacher or to choose a kalyanamitta. Right view [thorough understanding to the teaching of the Buddha] is the first factor of the Noble Eightfold Path.


2.   Practice Generosity.

Buddha talked about Dana and Sila to lay people on many occasions. Dana is a basic training of giving, of non-clinging.

Now, if we do not even know how to give thing with small value, then I have doubt if we are able to detach from things rather valuable and rather important, i.e. status, name and fame, not to say of five aggregates - body, feeling, perception, volitional formations and consciousness – that we cling so much to. So, it is rather impossible for a person who never learns to give to understand that body, feeling, etc are to be detached/not to be clung to, since they do not belong to him.

There are several ways to do Dana. Dana can be in term of giving material things, giving time for charity work, social activities participation, giving comfort to someone, to be forgiving etc.

Another important reason why we do Dana is because a well-given Dana brings much happiness that leads to tranquility of mind and right concentration – Jhana. [This is what Visakha – the chief Patroness in Buddha’s time replied when she was asked a question about Dana. When I remember it (generosity), I shall be glad. When I am glad, I shall be happy. When my mind is happy, my body will be tranquil. When my body is tranquil, I shall feel pleasure. When I feel pleasure, my mind will become concentrated. That will bring the development of the spiritual faculties in me and also the development of the spiritual powers and the enlightenment factors.]

Sila [morality] is another aspect that helps to progress in meditation. But before morality, I’d like to share a bit on restraining of the sense faculties.


3.   Restrain of the sense faculties.

Buddha said about one thing, when developed and cultivated, fulfills the three kinds of good conduct. That is, to restrain of the sense faculties.

 “And how, is restraint of the sense faculties developed and cultivated so that it fulfills the three kinds of good conduct?

Here, having seen an agreeable form with the eye, a bhikkhu does not long for it, or become excited by it, or generate lust for it. His body is steady and his mind is steady, inwardly well composed and well liberated. But having seen a disagreeable form with the eye, he is not dismayed by it, not daunted, not dejected, without ill-will. His body is steady and his mind is steady, inwardly, well composed and well liberated.

The same thing applies to things heard, sensed, and cognized…

Thing is not easy when it comes to a matter of feeling e.g. somehow you meet a guy, feel good then fall in love, seeing pleasant form with the eye, being delight on it, thinking ‘I wish he could be my boyfriend’, but later you find out that this guy is already attached to another girl, seeing unpleasant form, being displeasure on it, thinking ‘I wish they would not last’ and if you are too obsessed with the guy, you might probably act weirdly to separate them. [I’m not saying you can’t fall in love…haha…but not to the wrong person]

Then regarding sound, when we hear people praise us, talk good about us, give us credit, we like it that way but when people criticize us, we become mad, heartbroken, in return we might talk back in anger, rudely, unreasonably.

Now, you see that the unrestrained sense faculties lead one to conduct immorally through his mind, body and speech.
Restraining of the sense faculties means that we should be careful of desire and lust. This is where the problem lies. This is where the fetter is. So we should learn to overcome our desire and lust to things that we know as conditioned, impermanent, with little satisfaction and keep on changing.


4.   Morality

Many people are ignorant about making merit. They think being virtuous is just simply having a chance to do Dana. One of my girl friends says that it is almost impossible for her to do Dana, as there’s hardly any Buddhist temple or charity in her small town, so she is confuse how to do good.

I suggest that she can practice to refrain from taking lives and harming beings, refrain from taking things that are not given, refrain for sexual misconduct, refrain from telling untruth, refrain from intoxicated drinks and drugs. We give so much happiness to other beings when we keep precepts. We, in return have a peace of mind, free of remorse, of guilt, of fear, from wrongdoing. A mind that free from remorse will quickly focus.


5.   Be Mindful

Next, the Buddha says with virtue that is well purified and right view, one should develop mindfulness.

“Well then, bhikkhu, purify the very starting point of wholesome states. And what is the starting point of wholesome states? Virtue that is well purified and view that is straight. Then, when your virtue is well purified and your view straight, based upon virtue, established upon virtue, you should develop the four establishments of mindfulness.

Mindfulness in Buddha’s teaching is mindfulness to four things, namely body, feeling, mind and Dhamma. I’d probably just talk on a basic mindfulness in our daily routines. Certain people are quite forgetful. It is quite irritating when we often forget what we do. At workplace, you will know that being mindful is really important. When your boss asks certain questions to check on work progress and it happens to say I don’t know, I have no idea, I can not remember, and then you must be in trouble. Sometimes, when there is plenty of work to do. We tend to forget things easily. What we have done earlier, we can’t remember. Give attention when doing things will improve our mindfulness.

I have ever met a lady who is very forgetful. I met this lady in Thai temple. I have ever chit chat with her once or twice. But there was quite some time I didn’t go to this temple. When I went back some time later. She said she didn’t know who I am. Haha…. Then I told her, long time no see yeah but I still remember you, your name, your job and where you stay. Maybe when she talked to me, she didn’t bother to look at me because I’m not a male. Haha…. She was quite shameful by then.

There are plenty of things we can do with mindfulness. For example, while crossing the road, cross mindfully. While working, work mindfully. While walking, walk mindfully… etc.

As an addition, you are probably required to observe eight precepts if you stay in Theravadin temple. The first five is explained in morality, with a difference in third precept, that is, to lead a celibate life. The sixth is to refrain from eating after noon. Seventh, to refrain from all kinds of entertainments. Eighth, to refrain from using high & luxurious bed and seat. So if you are serious about long retreat, then you should practice by your own at home before going. For example: stop eating too much as this will cause you sloth and torpor… stop sleeping too much as you need to wake up pretty early in a temple… stop pampering yourself with so much entertainments and luxurious things. [Even if you are not practicing in a temple, observing eight precepts in uposatha days is greatly encouraged]

I chat with my girl friends quite some time ago, with whom I have been friends for 10 or 20 years, some even since kindergarten class. I told them that we are no longer young, but middle aged women now. Haha… Each person might have different priority in life. But whatever your priority is, lead your life skillfully. If you set career to be priority number one, then work skillfully. Do not find any loophole to create unnecessary thing that will cause you harm like cheating company’s money for your personal sake etc… 

Put care to your spiritual need. We tend to forget about this need especially when we are in our prime time, with good career and good bonuses, good food and good clothing. I might be busy with my work, sometimes I return home in the morning and go back to work on the same morning…haha… but spiritual growth is still my primary concern.

Everyone has some stress up to a certain level in life. As a working person, there’s stress at work. As a homemaker, there’s stress at home. As a member of an organization, there’s also stress in that organization. Few years behind, when I was a teacher, there was a time I was so stressed up with my teaching career. I always thought maybe working in the office would be much better than being a teacher. But now, working in the office seems to be no less trouble than being a teacher… Haha… We should learn to take things easy in life. [拿得起, 放得下]

Well, this is the end of my sharing. Wishing all of you a very Happy Magha Puja Day and Cap Go Meh. May there be joy, good luck and good health throughout the year. May you progress in your spiritual journey.

With Metta,
Yulia